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Old 09-06-2017, 09:58 AM   #1
DoctorFinger
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Mario Loses Plumber Job, New Game Will Have LinkedIn Stage

After decades of yeomans' work, Mario has been fired from his job as a plumber by Nintendo. As of press time, we have been unable to confirm Luigis' job status.

This should come as little surprise, as Mario has spent more time doing things like kart racing, Olympic track & field, game shows, space cage fights and possessing innocent people rather than fixing toilets. When you have a sugar mama who rules an entire nation of fungal peons, you probably don't have to worry about making rent. But they union can't be happy about this development.

Expect further developments, including whether that Homer Simpson character still works at the nuclear power plant.

Sources - Nintendo (Japanese link) Polygon
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Old 09-06-2017, 12:11 PM   #2
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the local 32 should not stand for this if NOA has an issue they should be put on the backburner.
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Old 09-06-2017, 12:23 PM   #3
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Mario picks up gold coins everywhere. He's not hurting for money. In fact he's probably one of those filthy immigrants jumping over the wall stealing money from hardworking koopas.
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Old 09-06-2017, 12:43 PM   #4
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This is Why He Won™
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I think it's the collective form of the noun, actually.
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taint = slippery slope

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Old 09-06-2017, 02:17 PM   #5
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Are we sure Peach is the rightful monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom? She doesn't really look...mushroomy. Is she the fungal equivalent of Emperor Napoleon III of Mexico?
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Old 09-06-2017, 02:40 PM   #6
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She's Dutch, not the first time a kingdom has imported some monarchy from there.
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Old 09-06-2017, 07:05 PM   #7
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Next they'll tell us that he's not really Italian.
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