Karak and the constant battle against Employee stupidity

[Cactaur]

I think you could just flesh out the posts and pitch as a book like Waiter Rant

[Ancalagon]

Originally Posted by Ox

DUDE!!! Find your coworker RIGHT NOW and warn him it's a bad idea to stick his hand, head, or any other extremity he values into the sink drain! ESPECIALLY when the garbage disposal is running!

You need to be more careful in the future.

Yeah, I mean if he stuck his hand in, it might not kill him. Tell him to put his head in, if it will fit.

[NoName]

These stories are golden. They make baby Jesus cry, true, but they're still awesome.

[Narradisall]

Can I come work there?

[hunterx280]

It's so nice to see a business employing the mentally disabled. I mean, they gotta work somewhere right?

[Bad Buddha]

Originally Posted by hunterx280

It's so nice to see a business employing the mentally disabled. I mean, they gotta work somewhere right?

Originally Posted by Narradisall

Can I come work there?

It's nice to know that there's a place for everyone!

I'm just afraid that one of these numbnuts is going to get themselves killed! I wouldn't want to have our poor Karak have to deal with that!

Of course if it does happen, you know it's going to be something like:

"There's a big mess in the lunchroom that needs to be cleaned up."

[Doctor Setebos]

Originally Posted by Bad Buddha

I'm just afraid that one of these numbnuts is going to get themselves killed! I wouldn't want to have our poor Karak have to deal with that!

Of course if it does happen, you know it's going to be something like:

"There's a big mess in the lunchroom that needs to be cleaned up."

"Jim from accounting isn't breathing. What do we do?"

[DoctorFinger]

I'd bet money that the average IQ in Karak's office is off the charts high. Like the woman who couldn't get her car off of the pillar probably has multiple Masters.

BTW - this should be a web comic. Find an artist and start pumping them out.

[Khrymsyn]

God, this stuff is hysterical.

The only reason it may not ever be accepted as a TV show is that people would think it's too far fetched. hahaha

[biosc1]

Originally Posted by Alatheia

I've noticed at my work that a person with a higher degree, like doctorate over masters, has less common sense than a person with just a bachelors... You've got people with double doctorates at your office don't you?

Surprisingly, I think this is pretty common. I'm in a similar situation as Karak (though on a much smaller scale) in that I'm the "go to guy" when things aren't working right...from a clogged toilet (that only needed a couple of plunges from the plunger right next to it) or the dripping sink (that just needed the faucet turned a little tighter)...

I am surrounded by brilliant programmers, but sometimes I wonder how they survive outside the office. There are moments when you realize that these people are very intelligent when they are doing what they studied to do, but they may have spent too much time studying to actually learn how to cope with events outside of their field.

ie...just the other day they were complaining the lights were burned out in the back of the office...so I turned on the light switch that I have witnessed them used repeatedly...I know they know it's there, but no one turned it on, so they thought the lights had burned out. They spent half a day working in the dark until I actually walked back there.

[Generation ABXY]

Originally Posted by biosc1

ie...just the other day they were complaining the lights were burned out in the back of the office...so I turned on the light switch that I have witnessed them used repeatedly...I know they know it's there, but no one turned it on, so they thought the lights had burned out. They spent half a day working in the dark until I actually walked back there.

Did they start worshipping you as a god after that, because that would have been an awesome end to that story?

[Chris_D]

Originally Posted by Generation ABXY

Did they start worshipping you as a god after that, because that would have been an awesome end to that story?

One thing I wonder is don't these guys feel shame? I mean, I would occasionally bother HR or admin for something and after realizing it was a stupid request I would at least apologize and endeavour not to do it again. Maybe my IQ isn't 200 but still.

[biosc1]

Originally Posted by Chris_D

One thing I wonder is don't these guys feel shame? I mean, I would occasionally bother HR or admin for something and after realizing it was a stupid request I would at least apologize and endeavour not to do it again. Maybe my IQ isn't 200 but still.

No shame at all. Heck, the clogged toilet was in the ladies washroom. She skyped me (so I guess there was a bit of shame), but I walk in there, check the water, then give it a couple of plunges from the plunger right next to the toilet and it unclogs (thankfully, there was only paper in there).

The funny thing was, she initially asked "Who do we call? A plumber? Do we have a plumber?".

...part of the reason I want out of this job is because of the fact that I am too nice and do all the things I'm asked

Another one: One of the people goes "My monitor is broken". She had kicked the video cable out from the computer under her desk.

Always strikes me as odd that a some computer programmers, brilliant computer programmers, have no idea how a computer works.

[DoctorFinger]

I'm pretty sure Karak's office is part of an upcoming reality show, most likely on Fox. 20 improv actors, 5-7 real employees. The actors are supposed to do crazy, but mildly endearing stuff. Whichever real employee goes the longest without a freakout, wins money.

[rifter]

Originally Posted by biosc1

Always strikes me as odd that a some computer programmers, brilliant computer programmers, have no idea how a computer works.

I have had this experience with programmers (I am friends with one, much like that) and engineers. :-) I have ALWAYS found it odd, how many people from those groups have NO clue how a PC really works.

[ShivaX]

Karak, Genius Wrangler

[pronounconnoun]

Originally Posted by biosc1

Surprisingly, I think this is pretty common. I'm in a similar situation as Karak (though on a much smaller scale) in that I'm the "go to guy" when things aren't working right...from a clogged toilet (that only needed a couple of plunges from the plunger right next to it) or the dripping sink (that just needed the faucet turned a little tighter)...

I am surrounded by brilliant programmers, but sometimes I wonder how they survive outside the office. There are moments when you realize that these people are very intelligent when they are doing what they studied to do, but they may have spent too much time studying to actually learn how to cope with events outside of their field.

ie...just the other day they were complaining the lights were burned out in the back of the office...so I turned on the light switch that I have witnessed them used repeatedly...I know they know it's there, but no one turned it on, so they thought the lights had burned out. They spent half a day working in the dark until I actually walked back there.

It only takes one person to say, the lights must be broken because they are used to having them on when they come in. The most common problem at my work is, "The front door is locked" "Did you turn the doorknob?" "....Oh."

I work with lawyers by the way.

[Karak]

Originally Posted by ShivaX

Karak, Genius Wrangler

Hahahah I am totally changing my avatar sig

[Karak]

I am walking to lunch. Its time to eat and my brain is on a burrito.
I come down the stairs. The boss is heading up the stairs
Boss-"Do you have a minute?"
Me-"Oh sure"
We walk up 3 flights of stairs to the conference room. He points at the conference projector.
Boss-"It's not super bright."
Me-"We don't have shades on the room, remember thats what I asked for but you said no."
Boss-"Ya but I thought the projector would be brighter."
Me-"I can get some shades"
Boss-"Can you look into a different projector...?"
Me-"..."
Boss-"because it should be brighter."
Me-"It can't beat the sun..."
Boss-"Oh I know but see if you can get a newer one."
Mind you this is less than 6 months old.
Me-"I don't agree with it but sure."
Boss-"Ok thanks."
I go and eat my lunch.
The cell rings.
Boss-"Did you order a projector yet."
Me-"I am at lunch. That's why I was outside when you stopped me."
Boss-"So...if you haven't then don't. Why don't we get blinds that would be cheaper and-"

I hung up.
What a waste of my motherfucking time.

[Karak]

And another gem.
I hear a spoon being mulched by the garbage disposal. Its a strangly pleasent sound because at least this one employee will now know that we have one.
So I go to the kitchen.
No one.
The disposal is barely running and in safe mode a little audible alarm going off.
I come to it, unplug it and remove a very warped and bent fork.
Employee is no where to be seen.
Hmmmm.
I go sit down.
"Hey why won't the disposal work." I hear someone yell.
I get up and walk over.
Me-"There was a fork in it, I unplugged it."
Employee-"That was mine. I was cleaning my beta fish bowl and the glass marbles fell down the drain."
Me-"With a fork?"
Employee-"I was using the fork to get them out."
I now notice what the employee has in their hand.
The wet/dry vacuum.
Me-"You were NOT going to try to vacuum the marbles out were you?"
Employee-"No...."
They stand there.
I stand there.
10 seconds of them standing there.
Employee-"Its a wet/dry."
Me-"I am calling someone don't touch it."
Employee "ok"
I call the plumber who comes in.
The fucking employee had dropped the beta fish in there. And aside from a torn fin he was alive!
That fucker was going to fork that fish out, then wet vac him out.
Well I guess he was trying.