These Are Not the Tips We Seek

[fitbabits]

This was in the CoG Tips inbox:

This Email is to inform you that you emerged a Category (A) winner with the sum of $2,500,000.00USD
on our online draws, after our final email draws condcuted last week.

Your ID was atached to Ticket Number: PA 3502 /8707-01, Ref Number: PW EH 9590 OG 0612,
Batch Number:563881545-NL/2009

The QUAD CRUISE Lottery Promotion NTHERLANDS draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 25,000,000
e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked

by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet. No tickets were sold.

For further instructions and release details, please contact your assigned claims agent,

Name: Mr.David Paulson.
Foreign claims agent Netherlands Office.

Email:intprizeaward2004@yahoo.cn
Tel:31-633-682-984.
Fax:31-847 137 474

You are advised to provide him with the following information:

First name:
Last Name:
Telephone/Fax number:
Nationality:
Age:
Occupation:

Quote your refernce and batch numbers in every correspondence to avoid delay or complications.


Yours Faithfully,
Donal Van Doni
Lottery Coordinator

On the upside, this means we'll be a fully-paid staff. On the downside, this means we'll be a fully-paid staff.

[LongStepMantis]

e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet.

That's a hell of a lot of inflated pomp for "We googled."

And "Donal Van Doni" sounds like someone who has a Snidely Whiplash mustache, is in the mafia, or both.

[MagGnome]

Some fake business has been mailing out checks in the name of the company that I work for, claiming that the receivers of these checks have won a sweepstakes and all they need to do is cash these checks and wire a portion of the money back to the company.

Needless to say this has caused a fairly big problem at our office.

[Wraith]

The QUAD CRUISE Lottery Promotion NTHERLANDS draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 25,000,000
e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked

by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet.

Ntherlands? They don't even have the decency to tell you in which -erlands this lottery was held?

(And they couldn't have picked a non-China-based email address, for at least some semblance of legitimacy?)

[Superman's Dead]

Woah, guys, calm down.

This sounds legit.

Do you need a coffee boy, Fits? Cause I can fetch coffee somethin' fierce.

[Wraith]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

Woah, guys, calm down.

This sounds legit.

I know this is ancient, in internet terms, and totally obvious...

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Wraith

I know this is ancient, in internet terms, and totally obvious...

This creeped me out as bad as clowns do to Fits...

[Whunpo]

Originally Posted by LongStepMantis

And "Donal Van Doni" sounds like someone who has a Snidely Whiplash mustache, is in the mafia, or both.

Agreed. I think that would make an excellent photoshop contest.
"What does Donal Van Doni look like?"

[Generation ABXY]

Originally Posted by Purple Santa

This creeped me out as bad as clowns do to Fits...

Yeah, that is a bit creepy. Can’t said I’d let a kid anywhere near the...oh, say, state, if I happened to see that lurking about. Unless you meant you’re just frightened by vans in general...

Boo?

[LongStepMantis]

Originally Posted by Whunpo

Agreed. I think that would make an excellent photoshop contest.
"What does Donal Van Doni look like?"

That's my guess. Only he'd be holding a bag labeled "INTERNET MONEYS".