ESRB says the darndest things

[tacitus]

A PCGamer article on Entertainment Software Rating Boards say the darnedest things

A humorous discovery: as it turns out, some of those hyper-literal descriptions of objectionable content that the ESRB publishes about the games it’s rating are ridiculous

I can't decide on my favorite quote - so I am leaving it out.

[Laughing Penguin]

They need to put these quotes on the boxes to increase sales. Not only is it more parent-friendly, but I would be MUCH more likely to buy the game that earned this quote:

“The game includes several references to alcohol and sexual behavior; for example, ‘This man’s appetite for wine, women and song know few bounds,’ ‘If a man wakes up with a hangover and the memory of a warm woman, it may ease the shock of joining the army,’ and ‘Sodomy: never, Sir, and damn your eyes!’ Other text-based references include ‘Pickled in Rum,’ ‘Gin-soaked Reprobate,’ and ‘I am drunk.’ The game contains several references to ‘whores’ and ‘harlots,’ and includes a soldier’s remark about ‘a man who knows how to shoot his load’ on the battlefield.”

[Widgetcraft]

“As players groom, play with, and ride their horses, they can progress through a storyline that contains speculation about a secret romance.”
Riding Academy 2

I like where this is going.

[biosc1]

My favourite

“In some scenes, the agent draws his gun and fires at some gnomes; however, the gnomes are magical and are not harmed.”

[Hawkzombie]

“Certain species occasionally throw-up food.”

Brilliant.

[Khrymsyn]

I just can't stop giggling...

“…During one lengthy scene, Wallace’s tea bag accidentally lands on his female neighbor’s chest, resulting in an awkward exchange about where the tea bag is…”

Sometimes my lack of maturity astounds even me. =)

[Narradisall]

This one got me.

“Dialogue between various characters references suicidal houseplants, bed-wetting, nose-picking, and current affairs in ‘Poopslavkia.’”

[Hawkzombie]

“The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one’s mother.”

Bulletstorm keeps getting better and better.