Dating Advice Thread

[MagGnome]

Originally Posted by Hawkzombie

You wound me, good sir. I'm gonna go pray, post about it on FB so Jesus can see, and hope to god 'MERICA RISES ABOVE YOUR TYRANNY.

So much QQ.

[Joshkdmw]

Originally Posted by J Arcane

I wrote a new profile. I kept this one kind of short and sweet. I'm not sure if I'm happy with it yet or not though: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/TheSilverMask

Oh shits, we're an 81% match.

Sup?

[Krispy]

Dude. Members only? Weak sauce.

[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by Krispy

Dude. Members only? Weak sauce.

I have changed this temporarily. I didn't even realize it was on.

[Krispy]

31% slut, eh?

I feel like I am learning so much about you.

You have some good humor in there. I like the wit.

You need someone with a decent DSLR to just follow you around take some photos for an hour. Your photos are just too low quality and make you look less attractive than you actually are due to poor lighting and dynamic range.

[J Arcane]

I know. I need a photographer friend. Especially for Eugene. Seems like in a college town everyone's got a pro photographer in their social circle so they've all got these really nice pictures.

My new Evo's camera actually is pretty good, need to take some more shots with that at least, because the other shots with my old Nexus really are shit-tastic.

In fact, I'm thinking I'll just remove all but the current profile one I did with the Evo, because the others look more shit than seems worth it to keep.

[MagGnome]

Yeah, you need to ditch all but your main photo. The rest just don't do you justice.

I see that you also checked out my profile. 'Sup?

[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

Yeah, you need to ditch all but your main photo. The rest just don't do you justice.

I see that you also checked out my profile. 'Sup?

Well, if I ever get into a bicurious mood again ...

[MagGnome]

Ha ha!

On Saturday I have a second date with the married man. His wife is working, so he's dropping the kids off at grandma's. We're going to have a couple of drinks in the afternoon and then get dinner.

[J Arcane]

Married like "open marriage/poly" or married like "Mags is about to be a line item in another 'family values gone wrong' story"?

[MagGnome]

He and his wife are polyamorous. She knows he's going on dates with a guy. I wouldn't see him otherwise. I definitely don't condone cheating.

[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

He and his wife are polyamorous. She knows he's going on dates with a guy. I wouldn't see him otherwise. I definitely don't condone cheating.

I wasn't sure is all.

I'm honestly not sure I'm comfortable with poly relationships even. I've messaged women on AFF who were, but that's AFF, most of the people on that site are married swingers ...

[MagGnome]

Several of my friends are poly, so I've gotten some experience with it in that regard.

I enjoy spending time with this guy, so we'll see how it goes.

[Shieldmaiden]

Originally Posted by Joshkdmw

Oh shits, we're an 81% match.

Sup?

Damn, you beat me by 2%. Well played, sir. He's all yours.

[Joshkdmw]

Fun fact: He is better matched to me than anybody in my city on OKCupid.

So, yay.

[Exodus]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

Ha ha!

On Saturday I have a second date with the married man. His wife is working, so he's dropping the kids off at grandma's. We're going to have a couple of drinks in the afternoon and then get dinner.

Wow...you really are a slut...

not that there's anything wrong with it.

I only say because you seem to get a kick out of him being married.

[civil_dead]

Originally Posted by torrefaction

Goddamn J. Just kiss people. Fondle them. You don't have to necessarily plow them on the first night...but get them interested in BEING plowed, at least.

Make moves. There's nothing gentlemanly about making a woman feel like you don't want her if she wants you to make a move. Just sayin'.

Hey man, I'm the one busting chops around here.

[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by torrefaction

Goddamn J. Just kiss people. Fondle them. You don't have to necessarily plow them on the first night...but get them interested in BEING plowed, at least.

Make moves. There's nothing gentlemanly about making a woman feel like you don't want her if she wants you to make a move. Just sayin'.

This is a bit harder advice than you may realize, something seriously deep-seated, but something I have been talking about in therapy. I have some very early events and ideas about this kind of thing that are very hard to get over, and unlike many of my other problems, no rational countering to them to help me bridge the gap between superego and action because even my front brain as a lot of very rigid ideas about consent that instead reinforce those early events.

[Bone]

As someone who used to wear both a butt-cut and Hawaiian shirts, my honest advice is to ditch them both and incorporate a little modern style. It shows girls you're paying a little attention to the world and care about your presentation. You don't need to go trendy or over the top, but willfully staying in the 80's honestly does you no favors. I'm saying this based on your OKC profile and your kickstarter video you had shared elsewhere.

Sorry if that seems harsh, it wasn't meant to be.

[J Arcane]

I wear the Hawaiian for a number of reasons. It is not necessarily an exclusive choice, just one that works out that way often because of those reasons.

The biggest reason I started is just because they tend to be the best guaranteed style option at thrift stores and Goodwill in particular. I'm poor. I shop thrift stores, and while I'll take a nice designer shirt when I can find them, I'm finding in the last few years a marked trend against anything I'd see myself wearing in public, and in particular a distinctly feminine and muted-to-white color palette in what shows up.

Hawaiian shirts and their related styles tend to be more reliable found in stronger, bolder colors, which look better on a pale blond guy than all these fucking white pinstripes and pale plaids and even a strange recurrence of pinks and pastels.

They also flatter me far better than most shirt designs. Let's face it, Hawaiians are cut and patterned to look good on fat tourists, and that's enough to smooth out a few extra pounds on someone who's just a bit overweight like myself. Designer shit is all cut for early 20s hipsters who would knock over in a strong breeze, and that shit doesn't fit me well.

I also don't know that I agree with it on looking "out of style" or "80s" either. If anything, I see it as just more casual iconoclasm, and that seems to be what inspires the impressions people get and the compliments I get. My pants are usually modern slacks, as well, usually high-end labels and well made, but I also change them up with everything from corduroys to cargos as befits my mood and what's available. Only thing I don't do is jeans, because they are an awful garment both uncomfortable and unnecessary and clash more often than not with my taste in shirts.

And put simply, I have good taste and getting better in picking said shirts, which is why I get a hell of a lot of compliments from men and women both on my dress.

I don't see it changing any time soon.