Dating Advice Thread

[Ink Asylum]

That's a shame. What was it that was so horrible?

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by Scaryfaced

Rejection's a bitch, even when it's imagined.

Rejection is infinitely better than wondering "What if?"... that'll drive you crazy.

While not a great metaphor, I think it's time to shit.

Your fetishes are best saved for another thread.

[J Arcane]

I need to find better places to meet people that don't involve booze.

Last night was expensive and physically damaging.

[Xerxes]

Originally Posted by Farsight

They're like people!

If only they were like something I was good at dealing with.

[LoisInTranslation]

I have spent far too much time in the hospital lately and even more time at home recovering (nothing serious), and I just want to say this thread has kept me entertained for most of that time. I'm glad things got more interesting over the past week or so.

Also, being in the hospital apparently makes every guy you have ever had a date with realize that you're awesome and ask for more dates. Worst timing ever guys.

[Scaryfaced]

Originally Posted by Farsight

Your fetishes are best saved for another thread.

[Hawkzombie]

Originally Posted by Scaryfaced

I fucking love you.

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by LoisInTranslation

Also, being in the hospital apparently makes every guy you have ever had a date with realize that you're awesome and ask for more dates. Worst timing ever guys.

Hey baby, wanna split an IV?

[BLeeP]

Originally Posted by LoisInTranslation

I have spent far too much time in the hospital lately and even more time at home recovering (nothing serious), and I just want to say this thread has kept me entertained for most of that time. I'm glad things got more interesting over the past week or so.

Also, being in the hospital apparently makes every guy you have ever had a date with realize that you're awesome and ask for more dates. Worst timing ever guys.

They are all vying to be your Bill Crouse.

[J Arcane]

So there's a girl I've been talking to on OKCupid I like, and I'm gonna ask her out to go see a play this weekend.

Trying to think what else to do though. I'm kinda running low on funds, and the tickets are gonna be like $40, so I'm thinking maybe we'll get some coffee or tea after maybe?

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by civil_dead

But I would also argue that humor/confidence are two sides of the same coin.

I'm sorry I missed the NYC meet-up. I really would of loved to get into a philosophical discussion with you on many things. The "confidence" piece is one. I believe you need confidence to propel an persons "humor" but I think that is still a different confidence than how you define it.

Originally Posted by evilgoodwin

I think people are just lonely right now. We seemed to have a dry spell full of nothing but crazy, but now it looks like we've circled around to TALK TO THEM YOU SON OF A BITCH, which is a big hang-up for people, it seems.

I try when I read these posts, to remember I was there too at one time. I don't like to just assume it's easy to walk up to some woman and ask for a date. I hated it and rarely did it. I don't think just saying to say Diablo, just go for it is very helpful. A person's anxiety is very real for them. There are different methods someone could help ease that anxiety. Some offer more confrontational methods others not so much. I think it's fine if someone receiving the advice says "hey that don't work for me, got something else"?

Originally Posted by J Arcane

Trying to think what else to do though. I'm kinda running low on funds, and the tickets are gonna be like $40, so I'm thinking maybe we'll get some coffee or tea after maybe?

I think that is great. You have plenty to talk about since you are seeing a play. You can see if you really click with her or not as she does the same with you

[Ox]

Originally Posted by Purple Santa

I try when I read these posts, to remember I was there too at one time. I don't like to just assume it's easy to walk up to some woman and ask for a date. I hated it and rarely did it. I don't think just saying to say Diablo, just go for it is very helpful. A person's anxiety is very real for them. There are different methods someone could help ease that anxiety.

I think you're conflating two different issues here. Obviously anxiety is real and I don't think "Just get over it" is good advice. There are a variety of techniques to reduce anxiety, including anxiety about talking to women, and we should discuss those.

But lots of people come in here with questions about whether a woman is attracted to him or how to ask her out on a date. That's not, on the surface, a question about dealing with anxiety. It's a question about how to communicate with a woman. There's only one good answer to those questions: talk to her, for God's sake!

This is obviously stressful, so techniques to handle stress are very important. But ultimately there's no way any of us are ever going on a date unless we figure out how to say, "Hey, want to go on a date next Friday?" And frankly, we're probably going to have to say that many times to many people, usually not knowing what the response will be and often being disappointed with the response. If you know of some way of asking women out that does not involve explicitly communicating your interest and often dealing with rejection, you probably should have mentioned it a few thousand posts ago.

[Ink Asylum]

Originally Posted by Purple Santa

I try when I read these posts, to remember I was there too at one time. I don't like to just assume it's easy to walk up to some woman and ask for a date. I hated it and rarely did it. I don't think just saying to say Diablo, just go for it is very helpful. A person's anxiety is very real for them. There are different methods someone could help ease that anxiety. Some offer more confrontational methods others not so much. I think it's fine if someone receiving the advice says "hey that don't work for me, got something else"?

I can appreciate this. I certainly was just as nervous and anxious about dating when I was in my early 20s as anyone here. I recognize that it's hard to get over your own doubts and fears.

However, at a certain point you realize that 99% of what you're worried or dreaming about is all in your head, and that when it comes right down to it you're dealing with a remarkably simple situation and the direct approach is the right one nearly every time.

When I respond to someone's long, complicated problem with "Ask her out on a date," it's because, in the end, trying to sort out the tumultuous anxieties and emotions that people have when thinking about approaching other people is going to take years of experience and introspection. Until then, the best you can do is summon the willpower to suppress all of that long enough to ask someone a direct question. The more you do that, the more you'll realize that your anxieties are just getting in your way.

[J Arcane]

Speaking of asking her out on a date, I've asked out both the girls I've been talking to on OKCupid ...

[Ink Asylum]

Awesome. Good luck.

[Narradisall]

Make sure to arrange both dates at the same restaurant, then a hilarious mishap will mean they both arrive on the same evening.

Attempt to turn the scenario into a threesum.

[BLeeP]

Originally Posted by Narradisall

Make sure to arrange both dates at the same restaurant, then a hilarious mishap will mean they both arrive on the same evening.

Attempt to turn the scenario into a threesum.

This post requires an awesome/awkward penguin image.

[SilentScreams]

My GF is meeting my parents for the first time tonight. They are treating us to a meal at this awesome local Italian place. For all the GFs I've had over the years, I've never introduced one to my parents before so I have no idea what to expect.

[Xerxes]

Originally Posted by evilgoodwin

I think people are just lonely right now. We seemed to have a dry spell full of nothing but crazy, but now it looks like we've circled around to TALK TO THEM YOU SON OF A BITCH, which is a big hang-up for people, it seems.

Everytime I see that I think about what? After "Hi." I'm pretty much done for the evening.

[evilgoodwin]

Originally Posted by Xerxes

Everytime I see that I think about what? After "Hi." I'm pretty much done for the evening.

"Tell me about your face."

"Are you an argyle? No, not an angel. I know what I said. Coincidentally, are you an angel?"

"Nice shoes. They match mine!"

"Your head is shaped good."

"I want to buy you a package of cheese."

"So. How is weather? Is rain sometime?"


Just don't use any of those and you'll be fine.