Dating Advice Thread

[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by evilgoodwin

Well that's her damn fault, if you ask me. Women should take more initiative when they want to meat.

Also, I've decided to start using "to meat" more often.

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Goddamnit, goodwin, you got me doing it.

Just nearly slipped in the phrase "I'd like you to meat ..." into a short story I'm writing.

You bastard.

[diablopath]

I just finished a healthy night of alcohol consumption. I say healthy because I drank enough to feel good, but I can still type legibly. This is health.

I have decided to ask biology girl out, but because I know I'm going to lose my shit either way it goes, I'm going to do it after graduation, or at the very least, after I take my last final. I have about 16 more pages of this shitty paper to write and then I need to worry about that econ final, so I don't want to add more to my list of shit to keep me thinking about.

I do wish I was better at recognizing hints and then recognizing what those hints are. Tonight she was talking to me about her cousin, who is 35, and said cousin's new boyfriend. They've been dating for less than a month, and are already through around the M word. She says they seem very happy together, so she's not going to pass judgment. She really likes the new boyfriend and the way he makes cousin very happy. She almost seemed jealous of the cousin's happiness, but I'm not entirely sure on that.

Apparently cousin's boyfriend asked cousin why biology girl doesn't have a boyfriend. Let's assume her last name is "Wilson." Her cousin said it's "Because she's a Wilson." When she told me this, I told her it didn't mean anything, and that she was easily the prettiest, most fun, and smartest "Wilson" I know. She laughed, said "Well, that's what all Wilsons seem like on the outside." and then changed the topic.

Somehow we got back onto the topic, and she said something along the lines of "I don't have the time or patience for boys anyway," and then before I could text back, quickly changed the subject. So now my mind is trying to figure out if that was a throwaway phrase or if she's basically saying "Hey, I don't want a boyfriend."

In other news, Hoegaarden is still my favorite beer.

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by diablopath

"I don't have the time or patience for boys anyway," and then before I could text back, quickly changed the subject. So now my mind is trying to figure out if that was a throwaway phrase or if she's basically saying "Hey, I don't want a boyfriend."

Don't try to figure it out. Ask.

I mean that as a general rule. Trying to "figure it out" is a fool's errand that leads only to misery. And furious masturbation.

[astranoir]

Originally Posted by Farsight

Don't try to figure it out. Ask.

This is excellent advice in a multitude of relationship/potential relationship situations.

[Ink Asylum]

Seriously. How long did you spend trying to figure things out before when you could've resolved things by just asking directly and clearly?

[Khrymsyn]

It was so much easier when you could use a club and pull hair.

[diablopath]

Originally Posted by Ink Asylum

Seriously. How long did you spend trying to figure things out before when you could've resolved things by just asking directly and clearly?

Yeah, I've really fucked myself as far as the mental game goes.

I'll get it over with soon enough. I just wish signals were more clear. This whole communicating thing is rough to try and learn.

I really feel like not dating a lot in high school has left me handicapped in my adult life. I think I've posted before, but it's really the one area of my life where I lack a lot of confidence. Starting to get better, but this entire situation I've built up inside of my head is a real hurdle to get past.

But, soon.

Soon.

Most of that last night was alcohol-enhanced insecurity and a complete inability to read things. I don't think I fill you guys in as much as other posters in this thread do, but I honestly think I'm doing a bit better with this lady than I have in the past. I'm still terrified as hell, but I think it's going to go well.

[J Arcane]

Signals are meaningless, relying on them a fool's game, especially if you're known to be clueless when it comes to them. It's like trying to drive blind and hoping you can "hear" the road ahead of you. Ain't gonna happen, and you're just gonna wind up hitting a tree.

[Ink Asylum]

The goal is to eventually be comfortable and confident enough to ask a woman out even fi you aren't getting any signals at all. Waiting for the right signals is just a way to try and avoid rejection, but being rejected is nothing to fear.

[Bone]

Allow me to go Zen for a second and remind you that the only moment that matters is now. Thinking too much about bad patterns or fears from your past is a way of hanging on to them like perfect excuses not to move forward. Every second that passes gives you the opportunity to jettison a fear and try something new.

[J Arcane]

Fuck I'm hopeless.

[PathMaster]

One night stands are good for your health? [Funny image]

[evilgoodwin]

Had a girl at the bar ask me to join her and her friends. I knew her friends already, though, so I've got an easy in.

2 minutes into conversation a guy walks by my chair and his shirt gets caught on the edge. He untangles himself and the girl starts talking to him. Randomly, he was best friends with her cousin in Dallas. O_O

I feel awkward, so I casually bow out, as I need to piss like a race horse, and also need another beer. So I go do that. I'm standing at the bar and the guy who was friends with her cousin walks up to me and orders two drinks. He then says "Give this one to her" when they arrive and walks away. Cool.

Get outside, and give her the drink. We start talking again and-- then her friends decide to leave for the evening, taking her with them.

Curses. We could have had a meating.

[Superman's Dead]

Evil, you got touched by an angel and you WASTED IT

I think there are a few definite times you should rely on signals. Namely, when you've really really fucked up. Own up to your mistakes, don't drag it out, don't put her on the spot unnecessarily.

Brought To You By The Letter "Awe, Shit"

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[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by Krispy

J, I was where you are three years ago. A string of bizarre and destructive relationships later I am happy and confident. I don't know what the lesson is here. My brain is a bowl of twice strained noodle soup. Don't end up like me. Or do. I need to sleep.

All my posturing, all the strength that my brain could will up, all the resistance I could muster, and she walks into the room and I still get a chill, and it's all I can do to keep from breaking down again.

I don't even pretend to know what the fuck to do anymore. I just. I just don't know.

[Ink Asylum]

You can't control those reactions, but you can recognize them for what they are dismiss the irrational thoughts that cause them. With time and practice they won't happen anymore.

[J Arcane]

At least I'm starting to recognize other girls again. There's one other in the class who keeps giving me sunny little smiles, but I'm pretty sure she IS too young for me so I won't be going after that, it's just nice to get the attention.

Also got a 4-5 star rating on OKcupid the other day from a cute young thing with more red flags on her profile than a Maoist march.

I'm starting to cotton on to the idea that there's others out there, and that dammit, I'm deserving of someone who actually cares, it just doesn't make it any easier to see that girl again, or hurt when she goes and sits well away from me and gives me only an awkward smile to acknowledge my presence.

That's the other side of trying to read signals. Sometimes you think you did read some, and they're dead wrong. And that can be worse than not seeing them at all ...

[evilgoodwin]

Originally Posted by Krispy

Evil, I once ate a cheeto as good as that story.

Thanks.

I think.

[evilgoodwin]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

Evil, you got touched by an angel and you WASTED IT

I think there are a few definite times you should rely on signals. Namely, when you've really really fucked up. Own up to your mistakes, don't drag it out, don't put her on the spot unnecessarily.

Brought To You By The Letter "Awe, Shit"

Sent from my SGH-I897 using Tapatalk 2, chumps

Explain.

Also, she was wasted and told me that her name was "Autumn Breeze."

-_-

[J Arcane]

You totally missed the boat, dude.

You probably could've nailed that chick in the bathroom stall if you'd moved right.