Dating Advice Thread

[SilentScreams]

The disturbing thing is that it turns out most of them are.

[Darkmatter]

I ever understood why so many people in relationships act like "asking" is somehow taboo. You can guess all you want but you won't know until you ask. Of course, be prepared to have to endure 20 "nothings" to get to the real answer, but such is life.

Originally Posted by Studybreak

Just a guess, but if she used the word "hurt," it probably doesn't have to do with the alcohol; women use that language when they're reacting emotionally, and unless there was something major in her past that would have stirred up emotion (that she likely would have brought up to excuse her otherwise out of place reaction to you going out), it's something else.

I'm also going to guess that if you're saying goodnight over facebook, not that there's anything wrong with facebook, you're not that far along into your relationship? In which case, re-visit your last facebook message, or something else recent. When it's early on, women tend to view you and the strength of your relationship by the last interaction you had together. There may be a subtle nuance in your interaction that set her off in one small way or another that you did not intend and probably would never pick up on unless you were looking for it. Women tend to over analyze interactions with their significant other, in part, just to see how significant that other is going to be.

Overall, I have to go with Purple Santa on this one (nice name, btw) - you should talk to her. You're still learning about one another, and it will take a while before you get comfortable enough to know what you should and shouldn't say, and how you should say it.

I can't contribute to a lot of these threads, but this is one I can probably help with. What else ya' got?

[Hawkzombie]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

First you have to swear on a bible that you're not an ex-girlfriend of mine. Every new female poster goes through this process. Pay it no mind.

How do we know it's a woman?! This is their first post

[wyeast]

Does it matter? Am I really a small beaver with eyes aflame? Let ye be judged by your words and actions, not by the physical shell sitting at the keyboard.

(Unless you're my neighbor's kid, in which case uh... hi?)

Welcome to the club.

[MagGnome]

Originally Posted by Krispy

Supes can smell a woman through the thickest fog of doubt. I've seen the hairs on his forehead stand up straight from a woman entering the building three stories down.

So Supes is basically Hannibal Lector?

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

So Supes is basically Hannibal Lector?

But prettier and less fond of wine, yes.

[Ox]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

First you have to swear on a bible that you're not an ex-girlfriend of mine. Every new female poster goes through this process. Pay it no mind.

Originally Posted by MagGnome

So Supes is basically Hannibal Lector?

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

But prettier and less fond of wine, yes.

Studybreak, if you once dated a prettier, less oenophilic version of Hannibal Lecter, I advise you to remain silent.

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Ox

Studybreak, if you once dated a prettier, less oenophilic version of Hannibal Lecter, I advise you to remain silent.

do you know what nemesis means?

Sent from my I897 using Tapatalk

[MagGnome]

It's the term you use for someone who doesn't turn off his or her phone signature?

[Hawkzombie]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

It's the term you use for someone who doesn't turn off his or her phone signature?

ZING!

Nice one.

[Studybreak]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

First you have to swear on a bible that you're not an ex-girlfriend of mine. Every new female poster goes through this process. Pay it no mind.

I swear, I'm not your ex-girlfriend.

[Studybreak]

Originally Posted by Krispy

Welcome aboard. If you like filth and love, this is probably a pretty good thread to browser intermittently; though I think a few of us have settled down after last year's romp of tragedy.

What was last year's "romp of tragedy?" Filth, love, a torrid affair?

[diablopath]

From now on, I will post in rage comic form.

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Hawkzombie

ZING!

Nice one.

Shut up.

Originally Posted by Studybreak

I swear, I'm not your ex-girlfriend.

Thank God. One of them just moved to Portland.

Diablopath: I hate that too.

[Shrinn]

Originally Posted by Ox

Studybreak, if you once dated a prettier, less oenophilic version of Hannibal Lecter, I advise you to remain silent.

Ox is actually a lawyer, so I think he's trying to stop you from getting arrested.

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

do you know what nemesis means?

On the other hand, Ox would make a great wingman.

[MagGnome]

So I suppose I'll give a brief update of the last two months of my romantic life, or what little of it exists at this time. I went on a couple of dates with this seemingly-great guy, but every single time he would have to reschedule the date at least once, and he'd never let me know until the last minute. Less than an hour before our third date (I was heading out the door) he texted me to say that he forgot he had a birthday party to go to and we'd have to reschedule. I responded saying "Thanks for letting me know", and that was the last of our communication.

Then the same thing happened with another guy, only we never even met up. It was his idea that we hang out, yet he took a rain check three times in a week and a half. That one's obviously not going anywhere. He kept apologizing for it, but three times in 1.5 weeks is rather ridiculous.

Then we get to my friend from earlier in the thread - the one that came out to me about two months ago. We were both really busy for a couple of weeks (he went camping one weekend and the other weekend I was studying like mad), but we finally saw each other this past weekend. He still really likes me, but he's also dating a woman right now and wants to see where it goes. Apparently she's a "sexy librarian" and that's just too much for him to pass up. I'm the one who said we should continue dating other people for at least a while, so I guess I have no one to blame there by myself.

So I'm meeting a guy tonight for a drink. Hopefully that goes well. I've been extremely busy with school, so dating has definitely taken a back seat, but I'm still not completely off of OkCupid.

[wyeast]

Mmm... Sexy libr... Er, sorry. the guy w/ the 3 bails in less than 2 weeks, that's weird. Total cold feet??

[Ink Asylum]

Wow, Mags. I have to ask, what's the longest you've dated someone in the last few years?

[MagGnome]

Originally Posted by wyeast

Mmm... Sexy libr... Er, sorry. the guy w/ the 3 bails in less than 2 weeks, that's weird. Total cold feet??

Apparently he is really busy working overtime. Once I could understand, but 3 times in a week is ridiculous. He works at a co-op, not a hospital. Still, it's something I've encountered several times before, and I'm not the only one. Just yesterday I was reading a guy's profile, and at the end he said "Don't bother messaging me if you are going to make plans and then bail." I've seen that in some other profiles as well, and several of my friends have had it happen to them more than once. A lot of Midwestern gay men are flaky, and I'm not really sure why. I guess it could be cold feet?

Originally Posted by Ink Asylum

Wow, Mags. I have to ask, what's the longest you've dated someone in the last few years?

About two months. Not all that long, I know. Some of my friends have gotten lucky and found stable, long-lasting relationships, while several of them have become serial daters like myself. I definitely get burned out on it sometimes, but I keep going back. :/

[Ink Asylum]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

About two months. Not all that long, I know. Some of my friends have gotten lucky and found stable, long-lasting relationships, while several of them have become serial daters like myself. I definitely get burned out on it sometimes, but I keep going back. :/

I wish I had some advice to give to help you find what you're looking for, but I'm at a loss. There are times I dated a lot of people one after another, but eventually I'd end up in something long-term.

I've got advice for finding dates, advice for managing long-term relationships, but not much advice for moving from many short-term relationships into something longer.