Dating Advice Thread

[Shrinn]

Originally Posted by civil

Wait, did Shrinn get laid? I may have missed that.

Laid on the fifth date/hangout/thing. Couple status established the next day. I mentioned the relationship here, but not the sexy time.

Originally Posted by Bone

I thought Shrinn's was the best because we all had a hand in his success.

Actually I think that entitles us to... something.

I'd agree with those statements. I'll come up with a reward for all of you. One that doesn't involve naked pictures of my girlfriend.

[Superman's Dead]

Upon realizing that Mags has an OKC profile I immediately searched for men who like men that have the keyword 'gnome' in their profile.

It is more than you would expect.

[pomeroy]

Originally Posted by Shrinn

Laid on the fifth date/hangout/thing. Couple status established the next day. I mentioned the relationship here, but not the sexy time.

You really don't know what we want to read about, do you?

[Shrinn]

Originally Posted by pomeroy

You really don't know what we want to read about, do you?

Details/bragging?:

The first time was awkward getting used to each other so we did it again. She left a hickey on my chest that bruised for a week. Rough stuff, liked it much more than I thought I would. First girl I've been with that actually moved a lot on the bottom too. A very welcome change of pace.

[Ink Asylum]

I've never understood hickeys. Never give them or receive them.

[Shrinn]

Originally Posted by Ink Asylum

I've never understood hickeys. Never give them or receive them.

Well. I don't get the point of "I'm going to mark you like this!" That seems silly to me. But sometimes you want/need to bite and it just so happens to leave a mark. That's different.

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Shrinn

Well. I don't get the point of "I'm going to mark you like this!" That seems silly to me. But sometimes you want/need to bite and it just so happens to leave a mark. That's different.

I completely understand the point of them.

Putting them somewhere visible is another matter.

[Hawkzombie]

So, am I in the clear now that I'm moving out of my ex's house and the girl I was chatting with has officially dumped her overly jealous and retarded (her words) BF? And now wants to be with me?

And hickies...I accidentally got one on my neck...

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Hawkzombie

So, am I in the clear now that I'm moving out of my ex's house and the girl I was chatting with has officially dumped her overly jealous and retarded (her words) BF? And now wants to be with me?

[Ink Asylum]

Originally Posted by Hawkzombie

So, am I in the clear now that I'm moving out of my ex's house and the girl I was chatting with has officially dumped her overly jealous and retarded (her words) BF? And now wants to be with me?

I think you both need a good rebound. Have lots of sex, use protection, and hang out for days straight.

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Ink Asylum

I think you both need a good rebound. Have lots of sex, use protection, and hang out for days straight.

Usually I'm in agreement with your advice, but I find us finally as polar opposites.

How queer.

lolarchaicwords

[Hawkzombie]

True story: Apparently my ex-wife has found someone new as well. Am I weird that this kinda makes me feel relieved?

[Ox]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

It is more than you would expect.

I was not drinking anything, but milk shot out of my nose anyway. I'm off to WebMD.

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

I completely understand the point of them.

Putting them somewhere visible is another matter.

Allow me to point out: hickies someplace visible are only mildly embarrassing in the "yeah, I had sex with someone who doesn't believe in discretion, you gotta problem with that?" kind of way. Hickies someplace not visible, however, can be far, far worse. Your neck is neither the most sensitive nor the most important part of your anatomy.

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by Hawkzombie

Am I weird that this kinda makes me feel relieved?

Relieved? Well, it's better than "jealous", but not quite as good as "happy for her".

So, am I in the clear now that I'm moving out of my ex's house and the girl I was chatting with has officially dumped her overly jealous and retarded (her words) BF? And now wants to be with me?

Go forth! Be fruitful and do not multiply!

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Ox

Allow me to point out: hickies someplace visible are only mildly embarrassing in the "yeah, I had sex with someone who doesn't believe in discretion, you gotta problem with that?" kind of way. Hickies someplace not visible, however, can be far, far worse. Your neck is neither the most sensitive nor the most important part of your anatomy.

Are you saying that you prefer reading "Pride and Prejudice" to actually having sex? Because that's all I can infer from this factoid.

Really, I know it isn't true due to your vast knowledge of vaginal tearing when you don't even practice criminal law

Edit: Yeah? I guess May doesn't seem like so long ago to me, but I'd still advise Hawk to take things easy. Having too much change in a short space of time can distort things.

[Hawkzombie]

Great Supes...now I'll forever see Ox as Alan Rickman dressed as Harvey Birdman.

[Ox]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

Are you saying that you prefer reading "Pride and Prejudice" to actually having sex? Because that's all I can infer from this factoid.

With that woman? I would genuinely prefer to be repeatedly kicked in the nuts for half an hour than to have sex with her again. There would be less bruising.

As for Hawk: there's little point in advising him anymore. He's caught up in the jetwash of his divorce, and now a flat spin of a disastrous rebound is inevitable. All we can do now is warn him to watch the canopy. Face it, Hawk: you're in the DANGER ZONE.

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Ox

With that woman? I would genuinely prefer to be repeatedly kicked in the nuts for half an hour than to have sex with her again. There would be less bruising.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh! NOW I get it. You were the bitch and she was the butch. It makes far more sense that way.

I'm spoilering this because it is incredibly inappropriate.

If a girl ever feels the need to get that rough, I have no problem with hitting her as hard as I can to get her to stop. I feel like I'd do the same to a marauding animal, and she's scarier because she has a more developed brain.

And breasts.

[Ox]

You've never seen The Shawshank Redemption, have you?

[Superman's Dead]

Originally Posted by Ox

You've never seen The Shawshank Redemption, have you?

Jesus Christ, Ox. Did you file a police report, or is she walking the streets still? I feel like you have a civic duty to tell us her name so that all of us are spared.