Songwriter's Corner

[Dorkandproudofit]

The thread at EvAv mysteriously disappeared (i.e. got deleted), so I thought we ought to have one here. Just don't anyone delete this one.

Here's one I thought up just minutes ago. Think Rhapsody of Fire/Hammerfall style of Power Metal.
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Power of the Ancients

This song requires 2 guitarists and a keyboardist along with the usual bassist, drummer and vocalist. The keyboardist mainly stays in the background, but provides a much-needed "symphonic" element that sets the atmosphere for the song. The bassist should play in a style similar to that of Steve Harris, while the drummer uses the typical Power Metal double bass drum, rapid sixteenth note style. Much headbanging throughout (as if I needed to remind you!) Nearly all vocal harmonies are in unison, i.e, sining the exact same note. A single chord progression is prevalent throughout nearly all of the song. After a brief intro, the vocalist begins:

There once was a power long ago,
That in me continues to grow!
Somehow it remained,
A might now unchained,
Within me the old blood flows!

[CHORUS]

The vocalist goes into overdrive, singing in typical power metal high register with the backup vocalists singing in unison:

Within me a power prevails,
From enchanted kingdoms it hails!
It spreads divine Justice
Wherever it goes,
Within me the old blood flows!

The second verse, while otherwise identical to the first, has the entire band resting on the first four vocal lines and doing small interludes in between.

The Heroes of old felt it, too.
The Power of the Ancients they knew!
They passed it along,
In me, it is strong,
For in me the old blood flows!

[CHORUS]

The bridge has the drums, bass and keyboard doing sudden, strong beats between elaborate guitar duets for a few bars, then join in as the guitar duets are repeated. After that, the guitars take turns going truly metal, doing the kind of insane solos that you'd normally expect from Maiden. After that, The band goes back to the original chord progression.

[CHORUS]

Within me a power remains
It withstands the greatest of pains!
It fights through the flames and the coldest of snows,
Within me the old blood flows!

Within me the old blood flows!
Inside me, forever it grows!
The light from within,
Erases all sin,
For in me the old blood flows!

on the last word of the last line, the vocalist goes into a high-note scream, holding that high note so long any normal person would pass out as the band runs down to a FULL STOP.

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Post your songs! If you can't do that, then critique other people's songs! Tell them what you like, what you don't like, where they could improve, whatever! Just get those creative gears turning!

[01010s]

I can go one better. Shameless plug here but who cares. If you care to check out www.myspace.com/lipsqueeze you can listen to the very rough and barely produced sound of me and a friend. I'm not promising it's good but I like it.

[Dorkandproudofit]

Come on! If you don't have any songwriting ability, at LEAST tell us what you think of OUR work!

[vuk]

I think the problem with something like this is that it's hard without giving a melody or something. For example, you've got "think Rhapsody of Fire/Hammerfall style of Power Metal", but I honestly don't know what the hell that is.

[Dorkandproudofit]

This one is still metal, but it is more akin to Iron Maiden's early stuff, i.e. Run to the Hills, Two Minutes to Midnight, etc. I just thought of it a few minutes ago.

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Thunder Dragon

(This song has a steady riff throughout that rarely, if ever, changes, save for the bridge/solo/duet section. The vocalist should sing in a slightly gruff, upper baritone range to give it that extra edge. The song begins with one guitarist performing the riff as the bassist and drummer play single, sudden notes leading up to the main riff, at which point the drummer plays a Nicko McBrian Run to the Hills fast beat while the bassist does a Steve Harris gallop as the second guitar joins in the riff.)

Dark clouds are blocking out the light
Ending day and bringing early night!

A cold front is rolling in {rollin' in}
Something is happening again {and again}
You can run, you can hide, you can swim, you can fly,
But you can't get away from the Thunder Dragon! (At "run", the entire band stops and does not start again until the vocalist finishes the word "dragon", where the riff returns and plays a few bars before the vocalist starts again.)

[VERSE TWO]

It was born on a day much like this...
A product of man's folly and hubris!

A great storm came rolling in {rollin' in}
Like something was about to begin {to begin}

Something we did create, but we never could sate
the hunger of the Thunder Dragon!

(Here, one guitar continues to play the riff from the verse up to the chorus while the other guitar solos above it. After that, the second guitar stops playing the riff and both guitars do a harmonic duet for a few bars, finishing with one last super high note on one guitar while the other goes back to the riff. After holding and embellishing on that last note for about two bars, the lead guitarist goes back to performing the riff alongside the other guitar.)

[FINAL VERSE]

As I write the words on this page
The wind speaks of fury, anger and rage!

Our fates have been set in stone {set in stone}
We realise we're all alone {all alone}

'Cause we tried to play God, yes we did, it's a sin
to be punished by the Thunder Dragon! {Thunder Dragon!}

Let the thunder roll... {Thunder Dragon!}

Let the thunder roll... {Thunder Dragon!}

Let the thunder roll... {Thunder Dragon!}

THUNDER ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!!! (Heavy metal falsetto high note here, at which point the band winds down quickly to an abrupt END, with thunder SFX ending the song and fading out.)

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As for Vuk, when I meant criticism, I was thinking less in terms of the music and more in terms of structure and lyrics. Once I find out how to put tabs or MIDI on an internet post, I'll start adding that in. Until then, just try to give feedback on the lyrics and structure.