Dating Advice Thread

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by diablopath

This isn't going to be a solution to whatever faults I have or anything, but at the very least, it's refreshing to know that in the next couple towns over, there exist women that can interest me. Also, it's good to be open enough about "Hey, I think I'm tired of being alone. I'd like to have somebody to go on dates and cuddle with."

What's refreshing is you can find women and say to them the word "date" and "want to go out". That in itself is major improvement. Now to see you actually date them and come back with your stories...they should be entertaining.

[Ox]

Originally Posted by diablopath

Confidence boost: The first two girls I messaged, at the very least, messaged me back.

Hey! When a girl responds to your message on a dating website, that's a signal that she wants you to ask her out!

Santa's right that you should tell a woman you "want to go out" with her on a "date"! But whom?

[Ink Asylum]

Listen to Ox, diablopath. You might feel like you need to converse back and forth, through e-mails/IMs/etc for a while before asking a girl out from a dating site, but you don't need to wait very long. If the two of you are close enough to go out on a date ask her out within the first week of correspondance.

[Bone]

Also, I'd avoid "cuddle" as a key word. They can do that with their gay friends on Pajama Night.

[evilgoodwin]

Says we're a match, J.

Wink.


Did I wink, or did I say wink?

[J Arcane]

So, random question, is it rude/creepy to comment on a girl's appearance in the first message on a site like OKCupid?

I mean, AFF, sure, since it's mostly about hooking up for sex, though I try to be tasteful about it, but I always feel weird even with a simple "you're cute" on a more "serious" site like OKC.

[Superman's Dead]

I spilled guinness on my keyboard last night and now it doesn't work AND THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY

Sent from my SGH-I897 using Tapatalk 2

[Thanasimos]

A girl gave me her number today. "I have to go, but -- here." She pressed a note into my hand and split. Normally this would be cause for celebration, but

1.) Her sole interaction with me was seeing me in full musician mode*, with stage presence and confidence "turned on." This is not representative of my day to day bearing.
2.) I am definitely 100% (OK, 95%) about to graduate and move two hours away.
3.) She is definitely 100% a freshman and that's not really fire I want to play with anyhow. They're still kids.

4.) I tell myself stuff like this.

Anyhow, I can't not call her -- that could only end well -- but I am not certain how best to let her know I'm not interested. I am worried I'll accidentally say something terrible. I think this could have gone better had she stuck around for longer than zero seconds after passing off the number -- I might have been able to deal with it then. I'll figure this out tomorrow, I guess. Most of my coworkers are girls. They'll know what to do.

*Banjos get all the ladies.

[J Arcane]

Bah! You're in a band! That kind of tail is part of the perk of being a musician. Take it as a sign you're getting somewhere and get it on!

[Thanasimos]

Originally Posted by J Arcane

Bah! You're in a band! That kind of tail is part of the perk of being a musician. Take it as a sign you're getting somewhere and get it on!

Hah, that wasn't with my band! Maybe if it had been she'd have been wise enough to pass me by. This reminds me that we finished mastering our album a few weeks ago and I haven't plugged it here yet.

Expect that thread tomorrow. I promise, we will make you laugh.

[J Arcane]

So, original profile: 1 conversation.

Second profile: 0 messages.

Space Captain profile: 2 conversations just today. Both of whom complimented me on the profile.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Superman's Dead

I spilled guinness on my keyboard last night and now it doesn't work AND THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY

Sent from my SGH-I897 using Tapatalk 2

That guinness was a life saver then. You haven't posted in here in awhile about your dating patterns. Again, thank that glass of beer because it saved your soul.

Originally Posted by Thanasimos

Anyhow, I can't not call her -- that could only end well -- but I am not certain how best to let her know I'm not interested. I am worried I'll accidentally say something terrible. I think this could have gone better had she stuck around for longer than zero seconds after passing off the number -- I might have been able to deal with it then. I'll figure this out tomorrow, I guess. Most of my coworkers are girls. They'll know what to do.

*Banjos get all the ladies.

A girl gives you her number, you call. Unless you find her repulsive or something. It didn't sound like that so...go call. Forget all the other BS you are telling yourself. You don't know what may happen. If nothing else you have some good times with someone for a short period of time.

Originally Posted by J Arcane

So, original profile: 1 conversation.

Second profile: 0 messages.

Space Captain profile: 2 conversations just today. Both of whom complimented me on the profile.

Women will tell you what they like most in a guy (ignore those who say confidence. I'll leave it at that): A sense of humor. That's what your profile did, it showed that side to you.

Now that I said that, I can picture Diablo practicing his stand-up routine.

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by Thanasimos

A girl gave me her number today. "I have to go, but -- here." She pressed a note into my hand and split. Normally this would be cause for celebration, but

1.) Her sole interaction with me was seeing me in full musician mode*, with stage presence and confidence "turned on." This is not representative of my day to day bearing.

Anyhow, I can't not call her

Why not?

You didn't tell her you'd call, she pushed her number into your hand. If you're not interested, toss the number and stop worrying about it. You can't blow someone off if you're never on to begin with.

Imagine if you had done something similar (imagine HARD). Would you expect a call from a girl to say she's not interested in calling you? Would you even want that?

If you actually are interested, just let her know your situation, and let her decide if she wants to hang out still.

[Thanasimos]

Originally Posted by Farsight

Why not?

You didn't tell her you'd call, she pushed her number into your hand. If you're not interested, toss the number and stop worrying about it. You can't blow someone off if you're never on to begin with.

Imagine if you had done something similar (imagine HARD). Would you expect a call from a girl to say she's not interested in calling you? Would you even want that?

If you actually are interested, just let her know your situation, and let her decide if she wants to hang out still.

I guess the reason I feel like I have to call her is because I figure I can't avoid seeing her in person, being that I know full well she eats in the same dining hall that I do. . . it's not like I don't expect to see this person again, so not calling her or otherwise contacting her to be like, "Nah, sorry" feels unduly cold, or at least will when I am face to face with her.

Then again, I come here for advice, and you do have a point. It's not like I am good at stuff like this so listening to other people may be my best bet.

But Mr. Clause over there is telling me completely different things! I am where I started.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Thanasimos

But Mr. Clause over there is telling me completely different things! I am where I started.

That's why it's advice. A lot like a phone number shoved into your hand. You don't HAVE to do anything about it nor feel guilty for not doing anything with it. I did say if you really don't like the woman, then don't go calling. It just seems you might be and the silly reason of she is a freshman and you are leaving eventually was a bit avoidant. I say go for it

[Kielaran]

Do you find her attractive? If yes, call her.

Be open and honest. Tell her where you plan to be soon and that you weren't up for something serious. At that, ask if she still wanted to go out. For all you know, she found you hot and just wanted to jump your bones. If instead she decides she was looking for a relationship, then you at least gave her closure on it.

No matter what, be gentle. Put yourself in her shoes and make sure that you don't crush her for no reason (not that I think you will try to but worth saying).

[evilgoodwin]

Try and set up a meating.

<_<

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Kielaran

No matter what, be gentle. Put yourself in her shoes and make sure that you don't crush her for no reason (not that I think you will try to but worth saying).

Where were you with that advice when you were crushing my soul you cad.

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by Thanasimos

I guess the reason I feel like I have to call her is because I figure I can't avoid seeing her in person

Again, so?

She knows you have her number. She knows what it means if you don't call. It's not a big deal. You're not breaking a promise or dumping her. There's no need for awkwardness.

[J Arcane]

So I think for my AFF profile, I'm going to go with "retired superhero."

Gonna need to find a good domino mask that fits.