Dating Advice Thread

[Joshkdmw]

I can't tell if you're offended, so you may have a point with this indeterminate sarcasm via text thing.

[J Arcane]

[Purple Santa]

I bet his success rate is pretty good.

[Narradisall]

Imagine if you get matched to him!

[Shjinta]

Originally Posted by Exodus

Okay so, I was out with a few friends and got to drinking and came to a few things upon reflection.

Me and my girl got in a bit of a spat a few days ago.
I've finally been flipping through it in my head(we've made up). She has trouble reading me she says. She thinks I'm angry when I'm not and then snaps out on me because she thinks I'm angry because she thinks I'm firing off missiles. This isn't a big deal, when I'm drunk I am all over the place and like to just move on quickly from conversation/fun like a man on a mission(admittedly I do kind of storm off but I'm just an arrow focused on a new direction in my head...I need to work on that). Only people who know me realize what I'm doing.

Earlier she told me she handles me by being mean on purpose to shut me down early.
"I have to lead you". I gave her a pass on this because she was also sick at the time.

This brings me to the conclusion. I'd never do that to her. Manipulate her to bring about an outcome that I desire. I guess I just put her first.

I think she just doesn't really care anymore.

Dump truck time? Or am I over thinking this?

EDIT:

It's just got me thinking. Like if I asked her, if you were me and you said that to me, would you trust you? The fact that you pretty much state you know how to twist me up inside. That you know how to use me and play me like your drums?

Double Edit:

Maybe I should just communicate that she's tearin me up when she does that and even though it brings about an end to whatever...it creates more backlash and resentment that leads to having to make up more? Which is nice but...I want to work it out because when we are good...I couldn't imagine life without her.

Triple Edit:

Or is this drunk rambling thinking about the bad things that we should already be over and I should move on because we're good right now? I'm drunk...

I must say, the same thing.. ish has appeared with my lady friend. She has shown concern that she feels like she'll never really "Know" me. She has stated that I'm extremely hard to read. (This is true, I'm near impossible to read, it's all the abuse) So it kind of bothered me, As a reflex I've always let some one in just a bit, but never enough. I'm wondering when I can finally let someone in.

When I thought I was acting normal and everything, it would appear I was making her beyond frustrated. Though, she refuses to leave my side, I guess I found a keeper.

[Ink Asylum]

5 More Places To Meet Women (That Aren’t Bars or Clubs)

I can’t emphasize this enough: the people who are the best at meeting women and getting dates are people who live interesting, engaging lives. People are naturally drawn to those who lead interesting lives because they have ambition and drive. People living active lives are fun, and they tend to want to share that fun, excitement and sense of adventure. People who lead active lives help introduce us to new and exciting experiences which is an incredibly attractive trait.

Straight talk: whenever you ask a woman out, one of the first thoughts that will go through their mind is “what would my life be like if this person were my boyfriend?” You want to live a life that other people would want to be part of, one that will naturally attract people to it.

[Bone]

A friend of mine is a skydiver, motorcyclist, and kayaker. He sometimes does all three in a weekend. Totally grizzled 40-something with a beer belly, but he dates hot athletic girls in their 20s and 30s... that he meets doing all the things he loves to do. And he didn't set out doing those things to meet women, that's just what happened when he jumped into exciting new hobbies.

[Generation ABXY]

So, my girlfriend is concerned both that I've never tried pot and that I may be an alcoholic. I'm not sure how one reconciles those two without factoring in unbridled jealousy, which doesn't really bode well for the relationship. Maybe I should just hire a full-time escort, and be done with it?

Oh, and the wine tasting was a great success... for about a week.

[Ink Asylum]

Originally Posted by Generation ABXY

So, my girlfriend is concerned both that I've never tried pot and that I may be an alcoholic. I'm not sure how one reconciles those two without factoring in unbridled jealousy, which doesn't really bode well for the relationship. Maybe I should just hire a full-time escort, and be done with it?

The "never tried pot" concern is weird, but have you thought about why she may worry you're an alcoholic? What does either have to do with jealousy?

[Generation ABXY]

Well, I didn't drink a lot at the wine tasting (don't really enjoy the... bitterness, I guess it is, of wine and beer), and she seemed somewhat put off by it. The next week, I went out drinking with another girl, and her attitude suddenly changed. She went from "Are you sure you won't have another glass?" to "You know you can't do that," and the only thing that I can see had changed - and correct me if I'm overlooking something - is the company.

[Ink Asylum]

You should probably have a talk about things before you assume what her motives are. Try to be as non-judgmental as you can and try to get to the bottom of things.

[Farsight]

Originally Posted by Shjinta

When I thought I was acting normal and everything, it would appear I was making her beyond frustrated. Though, she refuses to leave my side, I guess I found a keeper.

Two easy fixes:

1) Tell her to ask you what you're thinking when she is unsure.

2) When she asks, tell her the truth (within reason - you can skip idle musings about whether a Clydesdale fucking a Shetland pony would kill it).

Her mistake is trying to read signs when the actual person is right there to talk to. Scrying tea leaves and honing your mentalist skills are no substitute for conversation.

Originally Posted by Generation ABXY

The next week, I went out drinking with another girl, and her attitude suddenly changed.

Is this truly surprising to you?

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Farsight

Is this truly surprising to you?

My nickel is on, yes, yes it is.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Generation ABXY

Well, I didn't drink a lot at the wine tasting (don't really enjoy the... bitterness, I guess it is, of wine and beer), and she seemed somewhat put off by it. The next week, I went out drinking with another girl, and her attitude suddenly changed. She went from "Are you sure you won't have another glass?" to "You know you can't do that," and the only thing that I can see had changed - and correct me if I'm overlooking something - is the company.

Was this other company platonic? Probably not but i'm asking. Did the gf know about this newer company?

You would make an interesting narrator in a novel.

[Kielaran]

Originally Posted by Farsight

Two easy fixes:

1) Tell her to ask you what you're thinking when she is unsure.

2) When she asks, tell her the truth (within reason - you can skip idle musings about whether a Clydesdale fucking a Shetland pony would kill it).

Her mistake is trying to read signs when the actual person is right there to talk to. Scrying tea leaves and honing your mentalist skills are no substitute for conversation.



Is this truly surprising to you?

I have to disagree. The random musing are where it's at. Then again for some reason my wife seems to ask me what I'm thinking far less than she used to.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Kielaran

I have to disagree. The random musing are where it's at. Then again for some reason my wife seems to ask me what I'm thinking far less than she used to.

That's because she really doesn't want to know what you are thinking now. You have learned well grasshopper

[J Arcane]

XKCD breaks down the concept of "soul mates."

http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/

[Krispy]

You should watch the movie Timer.

[JayVe]

Originally Posted by Krispy

You should watch the movie Timer.

Yes. This was a good, and almost great film.

[J Arcane]

Captioned: "If you do this, fuck you."



Seriously, I got responses like that from online dates. WTF.