Dating Advice Thread

[Shieldmaiden]

Originally Posted by MagGnome

Nah, his ego doesn't need stroking.

It's not his ego that you should be stroking.

[MagGnome]

Something tells me his girlfriend wouldn't like it if I stroked anything else.

[Krispy]

Sigh. This thread got real. Time to make some changes.

And also ask someone out.

[Joshkdmw]

I am busy.

[Dark Prince]

Originally Posted by Ink Asylum

For the second one why have you exchanged so many messages on OkCupid? If you were interested in him you should have already asked him to hang out by now. You could've done the same for the first, too, if you wanted.

I've said it before. Don't waste time chatting or messaging on OkCupid.

I'm surprised anyone is getting past more than one message on OkCupid. I don't know if I'm just not attractive or what, but I can't seem to get any responses from any of these women on there. Kind of takes a blow to my confidence a bit in real life that I'm not even datable which I don't get. I send more then a "Hi, how are you" too in most of my messages, I actually ask them questions about things in their profile and have some decent pictures/description in my profile, but still nothing. Most of these girls respond back to me with these one worded responses that don't leave much for a conversation. I even changed my profile to look more interesting but nothing.

I don't get it.

[Krispy]

The more I think about it, the more the v-word just seems like a bad idea. It forces a narrow picture of cause and effect on a situation that is only convenient for whoever is using it.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Dark Prince

I'm surprised anyone is getting past more than one message on OkCupid. I don't know if I'm just not attractive or what, but I can't seem to get any responses from any of these women on there. Kind of takes a blow to my confidence a bit in real life that I'm not even datable which I don't get. I send more then a "Hi, how are you" too in most of my messages, I actually ask them questions about things in their profile and have some decent pictures/description in my profile, but still nothing. Most of these girls respond back to me with these one worded responses that don't leave much for a conversation. I even changed my profile to look more interesting but nothing.

I don't get it.

I know others were having the same frustration. Have you showed your profile for the peer review here? You may want to give examples of your responses to the women you tried to contact. Sometimes an extra pair of eyes helps. It seems someone is always having this complaint about online dating, then someone says "let me see what you are writing". The peer review seemed to help a few others who weren't getting responses.

[Joshkdmw]

The peer review definitely helped me. I have two phone numbers now.

[Dark Prince]

My name on OKC is 8bitLibrarian. I'm not sure how to link it here because when I clicked on my profile name to go to my profile it just shows okc.com/profile but doesn't have my name in there to link too it.

Would certainly appreciate any feedback on it. I'm not particularly great with pictures and just picked out the best ones I could find, I haven't changed much from the pictures shown.

[JayVe]

Originally Posted by Joshkdmw

Whatever happens from here on, I'll say this: a little online dating gas really helped my confidence in the fact I can be interesting, likable, and dateable. I was in doubt for a while. Amazing what a date and a couple of good e-conversations can do for an ego.

I guess I got my swagger back.

Yup! I haven't met anyone with whom I'd consider a long-term relationship from online dating, but I feel much better about myself.

[Joshkdmw]

T-minus 2 hours, 40 minutes. My stomach feels like it's doing fucking cartwheels.

How do you all get those nerves under control before a first meeting with someone new? Protips, please.

[Blue]

Heroin and Juicy Juice.

[Krispy]

That is not nerves. That is excitement.

[rifter]

Originally Posted by Joshkdmw

T-minus 2 hours, 40 minutes. My stomach feels like it's doing fucking cartwheels.

How do you all get those nerves under control before a first meeting with someone new? Protips, please.

Realize that you rock, and they are going to think you are amazing and awesome. If it doesn't work out, well, there's a LOT more where that one came from. Most people like me, so I know I have that going for me. It does help, quite a bit.

[Joshkdmw]

Originally Posted by Krispy

That is not nerves. That is excitement.

That actually does help bring me down.
Thank you.

Originally Posted by rifter

Realize that you rock, and they are going to think you are amazing and awesome. If it doesn't work out, well, there's a LOT more where that one came from. Most people like me, so I know I have that going for me. It does help, quite a bit.

Thanks to you, too. If I got the CoGgers bucking for me, then I guess that ain't nothin'.

I'll come around later and tell you all how it went.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Blue

Heroin and Juicy Juice.

I think this was the best answer by far.

[Joshkdmw]

I'm back, and my stomach has ceased doing kip-ups.

So, the night went well. We chatted for about an hour and a half, over some drinks. There was a silence once or twice, but I managed to keep the ball rolling fairly well. I always second-guess the amount of eye contact I give a person, because I tend to look right at them whenever they talk.

We didn't get into any real deep talk (I think we were both a bit nervous/reserved), but she seems pretty neat so far. A couple times we seemed to hit upon something she likes talking about, and she has a great smile when that happens. She said that we could see each other again some time, but mentioned her schedule is kind of wacky until september until university starts up again. I sent her a message saying thanks again, had a good time, with an open offer to maybe go catch a movie whenever she gets some free time. Good move? Yes? No?

[Krispy]

I hope you texted her that.

[Joshkdmw]

Originally Posted by Krispy

I hope you texted her that.

I was gonna, but she mentioned she doesn't text or use her phone a lot, so I sent it online. Which I now realize is a moronic thing to have done, I don't wanna get relegated back to online status.

[Purple Santa]

Originally Posted by Joshkdmw

I was gonna, but she mentioned she doesn't text or use her phone a lot, so I sent it online. Which I now realize is a moronic thing to have done, I don't wanna get relegated back to online status.

Well to send a text after she explained about texting, would of meant you either ignored her preference showing a lack of caring or you are deaf. You made the better choice. You messaged her the best way with the limited options.