Dating Advice Thread

[Ink Asylum]

She's just feeling things out, probably unsure of her own feelings at this point. After all, you said she told you it's been a long time since she was single. She's probably not used to the intense emotions that can happen during the initial flirting stages of a relationship.

You're doing great so far. Don't fuck it up by overanalyzing her actions. She initiating contact and kissing you. Relax, return the attention, but let her have the space to back off now and then. If you do something she doesn't like at the moment, don't do it again, but chances are she'll show you she's ready by doing it to you soon enough.

If the two of you are clicking as much as it sounds like things will become steadily more intimate at whatever pace both of you are comfortable with.

[Superman's Dead]

I'm gonna go in a different direction:

She's an alien, and is luring you to your death. Get out while you still can.

[J Arcane]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things...out-nice-guys/

[Voodoo]

Thanks for the responses. That's pretty much what I figured too. I do have an offhand thought that she may dismiss the entire thing but that's probably me over-analyzing things again. I've really got to let things settle where they may go for themselves & just go with it. If she's not ready, I'm fine with that but I'd like to suggest to her that we just go at a turtle pace instead of just being friends. Anybody find any fault in that?

LOL @ Superman

Originally Posted by J Arcane

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things...out-nice-guys/

That's a great read. :] Very to the point.

[Kielaran]

She said that it had been a long time since she was single. She is probably still feeling it out. From the sounds of it she was good when she was in control and whenever you would step into that position, it confused her and threw her off.

Just from that alone, telling her that you are interested and willing to go at her pace would probably be a good move. It shows your interest, but gives her the power to move into a relationship at the speed that she wants. Hopefully that will actually make her move faster, since she feels in control.

Or I could be full of crap...It sounds nice at least.

[Bone]

Originally Posted by Voodoo

Thanks for the responses. That's pretty much what I figured too. I do have an offhand thought that she may dismiss the entire thing but that's probably me over-analyzing things again. I've really got to let things settle where they may go for themselves & just go with it. If she's not ready, I'm fine with that but I'd like to suggest to her that we just go at a turtle pace instead of just being friends. Anybody find any fault in that?

Oh, there was part I missed- where she said "it's been awhile since I've been single". That could be a couple of things: 1) She is newly single and wants to remain that way, and being attracted to you is fucking up her plan, or 2) She's newly single after a long time of being attached, and not sure how to proceed with dating. It sounds more like the second one to me.

The problem is, she might mistake your signals. Maybe she's wondering how many other girls you kissed on the neck that week. Or whether you're genuinely attracted to her and not just trying to get laid.

Either way, it sounds like your plan of just taking things at face value is the way to go. Definitely seems like she's responding to you in a great way, and you just have to accept that someone thinks you're smooth and good looking

[Krispy]

Voodoo, you got the hoodoo.

And BBQ.

[J Arcane]

More fun coincidences in the world of online dating.

Some months ago, when I was still living at the filthy hippie's house, I ordered some Papa John's. It had been a long writing day, I was unkempt, sweaty, and wearing my sweatpants and a too-small Hawaiian shirt that I generally reserve for laundry days.

The doorbell rings, and I rush out to answer it and retrieve my pizza. I open the door and I am greeted by what is quite possibly one of the hottest women I've ever met in person. I am rendered completely dumbstruck, simultaneously having the desire to ask her out, and being completely unable to speak out of self-consciousness for my totally disheveled appearance. I barely say one word to her through the entire transaction.

I wind up resolving to order from the store again in the future, and make a move the next time, hopefully while in a better state of self-care. I eat my pizza and go to bed.

I awake that night at 3AM with the worst gut-cramping and general bowel trouble I think I've ever had in my life. I'm in complete agony. I wind up never ordering from that store again, and write it off as just another lost opportunity that probably wouldn't have gone my way anyway.

Then last night, I run a match search on OKCupid, and guess who I find? The sexy pizza girl. Gorgeous photo, specifically mentions she's working as a pizza delivery driver, oh, and she's a pretty decent percent match and a gamer too.

Totally going to message her later this evening after school, I'm just puzzling out what to say. I have this weird notion of mentioning that we've met, and my dumbstruckness, but I'm not sure whether the result will be creepy or flattering. But hey, dating is about risk, ain't it?

[Krispy]

Personally, I would keep that story to myself until I establish some level of friendly reporte and edge it in as a quirky-in-hindsight anecdote.

[Bone]

Make it a coincidence. "Oh, you delivered me pizza? I didn't recognize you but I do remember having a cuter-than-average pizza girl one time. Before they tried to poison me."

Yes, that may be a white lie, but it's less creepy than "I thought you were devastatingly beautiful that time you delivered pizza to me, and finally found a way to find you!" is going to come across (whether or not you actually say that, that's the message!).

[J Arcane]

Originally Posted by Bone

Make it a coincidence. "Oh, you delivered me pizza? I didn't recognize you but I do remember having a cuter-than-average pizza girl one time. Before they tried to poison me."

Yes, that may be a white lie, but it's less creepy than "I thought you were devastatingly beautiful that time you delivered pizza to me, and finally found a way to find you!" is going to come across (whether or not you actually say that, that's the message!).

Yeah, the latter is what I was concerned about.

I think I'll stick to a more normal message, perhaps.

[Voodoo]

Hmm... I'd go along the lines of a story - I settled in one evening, ordered some pizza and was checking out my latest matches on OK Cupid. Lo and behold, just as I came across your profile you rung my doorbell and delivered the tasty pizza. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say at the time except for, "Um... Hi... Thanks..." It may have been coincidence but it is hard for me not to think otherwise. -

Originally Posted by Bone

Oh, there was part I missed- where she said "it's been awhile since I've been single". That could be a couple of things: 1) She is newly single and wants to remain that way, and being attracted to you is fucking up her plan, or 2) She's newly single after a long time of being attached, and not sure how to proceed with dating. It sounds more like the second one to me.

The problem is, she might mistake your signals. Maybe she's wondering how many other girls you kissed on the neck that week. Or whether you're genuinely attracted to her and not just trying to get laid.

Either way, it sounds like your plan of just taking things at face value is the way to go. Definitely seems like she's responding to you in a great way, and you just have to accept that someone thinks you're smooth and good looking

Thanks She had come out to events on Monday & Wednesday too. On Monday night it was only the two of us and I treated it with all the regards of just two friends going out to do something. Wednesday night, she was sitting across from me with a table of 10 people and I kept noticing that she was giving me the eyes and smiling at me. I guess when Friday rolled around, she couldn't hold back anymore. Ha! What she might not have expected was how excited she got when I started reciprocating her advances.

My friend Brooke asked me if I was planning on taking her home and I said to her, "No, she's a special woman and I plan to nurture what's happening between us." I hadn't noticed that she'd come up behind me again after going to the rest room. When I looked back at her she was all smiles and just started dancing again.

[Ink Asylum]

You charmer, you!

[MagGnome]

Voodoo, it sounds like you are handling things with that girl nicely. Keep it up and you might be breaking out the BBQ sauce soon.

[PathMaster]

Or will he hold back the BBQ sauce?

[Voodoo]

Originally Posted by PathMaster

Or will he hold back the BBQ sauce?

I'm going to keep it in the wings, just in case. For now, I'm growing a very sensitive crop and the weatherman is saying a hurricane might be headed my way.

[SilentScreams]

Was that a penis metaphor?

[Psykoboy2]

Originally Posted by SilentScreams

Was that a penis metaphor?

Nope. There's actually some shit brewing in the gulf down there.


THAT is a penis metaphor.

Not really.

[SilentScreams]

But...it was growing and there was a good chance of it getting blown. How is that not a penis metaphor!?

[evilgoodwin]

Originally Posted by J Arcane

Yeah, the latter is what I was concerned about.

I think I'll stick to a more normal message, perhaps.

Be subtle. Talk casual about normal things before you say "So, this may seem odd and you probably don't remember, but you tried to poison me."

And then you stab her.

That might be a metaphor. Might not. Take it as you will.