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NaNoWriMo Excerpt 3

Posted 11-16-2008 at 09:27 PM by Kielaran
[Here they are showing Bull around the complex and this is the last stop, where they are showing Bull the lounge.]

The room was decorated more than the other rooms. It was painted a powder blue and had wooded floors. A square table with four chairs sat off to one side of the room with a bookshelf full of board games behind it. On the other side of the room were three couches. They were facing a television.

Bull couldn’t believe it. He had never seen a television so close before. He could not believe how amazing this place was. It had everything he could want. He had a place of his own, anything else he could want, and to stay here all he had to do was fight. he was still daydreaming when a voice came from inside the room.

“Who’s the fresh meat?”

“Is someone in there?” Bull asked Williams.

“Yeah,” the voice called back as a hand waved over the back of one of the couches.

“Oh, I didn’t realize anyone was in here,” said Williams.

They crossed the room to the couches as the person who was lying on them stood up. He was a short man, barely more than five feet tall, but he made up for his height with muscle. He was well built and it matched his personality.

“Like I said, who’s the new guy?”

“How did you know I was there without seeing me?”

“I could hear your big feet before the door was even opened.”

“What did you just say?”

Bull took a step toward the man and balled his fists. Williams quickly stepped between bull and the man, placing a hand on Bull’s chest.

“Graham, meet Bull Jenkins. He’s our newest member. Bull, this is Graham Rider. He is the oldest member of our group, save for myself, of course.”

“Nice to meet you, call me Graham or Rider, either works. So how do you get a name like Bull? Is your power breaking stuff?”

Bull clenched his fists again and his teeth showed as his lips began to curl, but again Williams diffused the situation.

“Give it a rest Graham. You’ll have plenty of time to be a pain in the ass later.”

“Actually,” came Bruce’s voice from near the door, “this could prove to be interesting. Warren and I will need to see Bull in action anyway. Graham, can you give us a hand?”

“Sure,” he said with a devilish grin. At this, Williams sighed, walking over to the table and taking the chair with the best view.

“Hey, Bull,” Bruce called, causing Bull to crane his neck, “if you can land a good punch on Rider, there, I will pay for your drinks tonight, but you have to stop when we tell you to.”

Bull grunted a yes and began swinging before he even turned around, but he hit nothing but thin air. Graham was already out of arms length. Bull kept swinging as he tried to close the gap, but every step he made was matched by one of Grahams. As Graham back peddled, he moved to the left, leading Bull around the open area in a clockwise motion so that he would not be cornered.

As Bull overextended himself, Graham changed his movement, lining up a counterattack. He pulled a fist back for a strike when a loud voice froze both men.

“Graham,” Warren yelled, “no punching!”

Bull started to swing again, but Graham had moved away once more. Disappointed with being unable to fight back, he began to taunt Bull.

“Is that the best you’ve got? I could do this all day.”

Bull growled and pressed on, but his movements became more embellished. He was getting angry and swinging harder, but this just slowed him down. Graham began to swat at the missing punches, slapping Bull’s fists, further angering him.

Then Graham stopped his backward motion. Bull kept moving forward, closing the gap, but then Graham stepped forward, making punching him difficult. Bull swung his right fist low, aiming for Graham’s stomach. Graham pushed it outward with his own right hand, twisting to avoid the blow and grabbing Bull’s wrist with his left hand to regain his balance.

Bull tried again with his free arm, but to no avail. Graham turned his body perpendicular to Bull’s, causing the punch to miss completely and then grabbing that wrist with his right hand. Bull tried to free his arms by pulling them both outward, but Graham held tight. When that didn’t work, Bull raised his arms, lifting Graham off of the ground.

“Enough,” called Warren. Bull stopped raising his arms, but didn’t lower Graham back to the ground.

“Awww, it was just getting good,” was Bruce’s reply. At this, Graham let go of Bull’s arms, landing on his feet. Bull was visibly angry and he still had his hands balled in fists. It once again took Williams to diffuse the situation. He walked over and put a hand on Bull’s shoulder.
“Calm down. Graham has been training for a long time here. With some training you will be able to counter his movements. That is one of the things we will be teaching you.”

“He’s right,” Bruce chimed in. “We needed to see what you can do so that we can create adequate training for you. Sorry, I won’t be picking up your tab tonight, but I will buy you a drink.”

This is my first attempt at any sort of combat writing. Suggestions on that part are especially requested.
Posted in NaNoWriMo
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shunoshi's Avatar
Looks good. Combat flowed well and was easy to visualize. Keep it up!
Posted 11-17-2008 at 11:45 AM by shunoshi shunoshi is offline
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Kielaran's Avatar
Thanks. That gives me a bit more confidence in how my second fight turned out (Bull vs 9 guys).
Posted 11-17-2008 at 11:58 AM by Kielaran Kielaran is offline
 
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