The Cure for the Common Cold

[fitbabits]

As I write this, I'm shivering like a loon with a high fever, my nose is running so much that I worry it's brain fluid escaping and not snot, I just sneezed 23 times in succession, the right side of my head feels like it's about to explode, my upper lip and nose are redder than a Tickle-Me Elmo toy, I'm sweating bullets all over, I can't smell or taste a damn thing, I sound like I'm talking through a toilet roll tube...

Why isn't there a cure for the common cold?

[zirky]

http://www.whiskygrotto.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/scotch.jpg

[fitbabits]

http://www.whiskygrotto.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/scotch.jpg
I fear I'm about to blaspheme... I don't like Scotch or whiskey. And I don't know how a calendar would help me right now. :(

[zirky]

It was not meant that the calender was the cure, more the focus of the calender. It was the first image that really spelled it out.

So is your distaste for Scotch why you are living in the US and not Scotland?

[DangerousDaze]

Jack Daniels, lemon, sugar, paracetamol, bed.

[zirky]

Also appropriate on multiple levels:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-soft-kittens-tissue-box.jpg

[Iron Past]

Well, it's not alive, so you can't kill the virus. However, you can treat the symptoms. TheraFlu works pretty well, and there's a nighttime formula so you can try to sleep. I don't know if I'm taking your post too literally, though.

In all seriousness, I wouldn't drink alchohol (or at least, not get drunk). You would get severly dehydrated and that wouldn't help your situation at all.

[shunoshi]

Honestly? Zinc.

Everytime I have a cold I eat Cold-eze drops like candy and sniff Zycam like a cokehead who just hit the lottery. I never have a cold longer than 2 days.

[Bingley Joe]

Rest, fluids and vitamin C.

And rest.

And fluids.

And vitamin C.

For the fluids and vitamin C part: chicken soup. :)


Also helpful is a large stack of DVDs


Hope you feel better soon!

[Morangie]

I fear I'm about to blaspheme... I don't like Scotch or whiskey. And I don't know how a calendar would help me right now. :(

Calling 18 year old Macallan mere whisky is like saying the 360 has slight reliability issues.

[fitbabits]

Also appropriate on multiple levels:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-soft-kittens-tissue-box.jpg
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! You win... Kitties are the cure for EVERYTHING that ails you!

[fitbabits]

So is your distaste for Scotch why you are living in the US and not Scotland?

Not at all. In fact, I miss Scotland terribly, not least of all the people and the beer. :(

[Scaryfaced]

This is going to sound weird, but smoke some pot. I know, I know, what the hell does that have to do with anything? For some reason, weed makes colds less severe. They last twice as long, but you'll feel much better. It go from feeling like death to having a week long stuffy nose. Don't ask me why, I'm obvously not a doctor.

Its horrible advice and I don't even know why I'm posting it, but it works.
________
Granny tubes (http://www.fucktube.com/categories/23/granny/videos/1)

[hunterx280]

Honestly? Zinc.

Everytime I have a cold I eat Cold-eze drops like candy and sniff Zycam like a cokehead who just hit the lottery. I never have a cold longer than 2 days.

I second that.

[TheKeck]

That sounds like a vicious cold, not the common one. :( Sorry to hear it.

[Troggles]

I've had the same cold for over a week so I can't help you much there.

[DoctorFinger]

Vitamin C helps ward off colds, but it doens't do much at all once you have it. The best advice I can give is the simplest: stay warm, stay hydrated, and keep occupied.

[crazyD]

One word: Leeches.

Works every time.

[Radioguy9698]

common cold is nothing, trying being dehydrated and dealing with Montezuma's revenge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traveler%27s_diarrhea) ...it's what i get for eating all this damn fair food then going to huddle house..

[Johan]

Death cures the common cold. Death cures everything.

[wyeast]

I fear I'm about to blaspheme... I don't like Scotch or whiskey.
Wait, wot wot? :eek:

I think my sense of reality just got tossed asunder. :p

Stay warm. Stay hydrated. Rest lots. That's about all you can do. I would down theraflu like a mofo whenever I got sick. Seems to lessen the symptoms somewhat, although not always.

[boratika]

Garlic. Lots and lots of raw garlic. Cut it up small enough to swallow without chewing and then wash it down with this:

Lemon + unpasteurised honey + hot (not boiling) water --> drink

There was a particularly nasty flu going around these part recently. I heard it described independently multiple times as "worse than labour" but lasting for more than a week. I basically spent a week on the couch consuming the above and watching cartoons.

[edit]Damnit! I meant unpasteurised honey.

[GunnyMo]

I go the easy way. I chug NyQuil. :) If you must be awake, take the skanky orange sister, DayQuil.

[Bingley Joe]

Garlic. Lots and lots of raw garlic. Cut it up small enough to swallow without chewing and then wash it down with this:

Lemon + pasteurised honey + hot (not boiling) water --> drink

I can attest to this as a cure.

I make a similar ..umm tonic(?) by boiling a whole bunch of ginger with a lot of cayenne and honey, and then throwing in the garlic and letting it cool enough to drink it. I also squeeze a lemon into it at this point.

I've also added alcohol of various types (usually whisky, brandy, or cognac) when I've been really feeling like shit.

Eat and drink it all. It actually tastes great (no doubt thanks to the fact that you can't taste much when you're sick), and holy shit does it ever work.

The person you happen to be sleeping near will probably hate you when this stuff starts seeping out of your pores though..

[QueQueg]

Sleep is the single most important thing you can do. Sleep and drink water.

[Everyone vs Dinosaurs]

Sleep, a lot!

Hope you get well soon.

[QueQueg]

Sleep, a lot!

Hope you get well soon.

Sleep and avoid dinosaurs.

[crazyD]

Garlic. Lots and lots of raw garlic. Cut it up small enough to swallow without chewing and then wash it down with this:

Lemon + unpasteurised honey + hot (not boiling) water --> drink

There was a particularly nasty flu going around these part recently. I heard it described independently multiple times as "worse than labour" but lasting for more than a week. I basically spent a week on the couch consuming the above and watching cartoons.

[edit]Damnit! I meant unpasteurised honey.

*COUGH*psychosomatic*COUGH*

[Spacetronaut]

Fear is the only cure.