tombofsoldier
02-19-2009, 12:41 PM
This is a story I've decided not to finish. I didn't think it would be very interesting in the first place, so in retrospect I'm not sure I know why I started writing it. Still its a chance to get some input from entirely different people on my writing. See I think, I hope anyway, that my ideas are great. It's actually putting those ideas in writing that I'm worried about.
Anyway: Huge Wall of Text I summon thee! What do you think:
Time is a river, and we are but raindrops falling into it. We each make our ripples, spreading out from ourselves forever, changing the flow in our own small way. But everything travels only in one direction, we always change what is ahead, and never what is behind…
“Dr. Chakwas! Dr. Chakwas over here!” Mel jogged across the uneven pavement to catch up with his former physics tutor. The man had finished his graduate degree two years ago and gone up to the podium on the same day Mel had received his bachelors. Chakwas finally deigned to take note of him, Mel was rather lanky and tall. He had grown what might generously be called a failure of a beard since graduating, not that Chakwas ever thought beards looked good on blond haired people anyway.
“Hello Malcolm. I’m surprised to see you again.” Mel had dealt with Chakwas on nearly a daily basis for two semesters, and so was not surprised by his former tutors off-putting nature. Mel knew the way to get through to him was to be as insistently cheery and good natured as possible, so that eventually Chakwas would ascede to any demands just to get rid of him. With this in mind Mel laughed and gave Chakwas a good natured slap on the back.
“Well I don’t see why. Look I’ve got something to show you, it’s neat, really. How about you come by my warehouse later today?” Chakwas grunted and tried to speed. His office on the campus was only a block away, and if he could got there quickly he could wave Mel off with the excuse of being incredibly busy. Mel knew all this and was having none of it. “C’mon Doc, what do you say? I promise you won’t be disappointed!” Mel laughed again, and Chakwas barely dodged another pat on the back.
“Look, I’m sorry to disappoint you Malcolm but I’m very busy and don’t have time to view another one of your crackpot experiments.” Mel simply laughed again, Chakwas was running out of ammo! The small, dark haired man couldn’t keep up with Mel’s lanky strides no matter how fast he walked, and Mel had been sure to check that Chakwas had in fact already finished grading his students midterms.
Still, perhaps it was time for Mel to drop the cheery act. Chakwas was obviously in no mood to be messed with, and Mel really needed his input this time. Setting a stern face Mel goes on “Look, I know what you think of my research. But do you honestly think sitting classrooms for another three years would have taught me anything?” Chakwas had had enough, spinning on Mel with his finger upraised he growls out “You would have been done in four semesters or less and you know it! And yes, I do think that it would have taught you something, for example it would have taught you to forget these ridiculous notions of yours and focus on real science!”
That was it! Now he had Chakwas right where he wanted him. Mel fought hard to keep his face stern, “I’ve gotten a result.” Chakwas face went slack, you could have tipped him over with a feather. It took him a good three minutes to regain his composure before he finally responds, “It’s probably just a false reading. Some sort of stupid malfunction you’ve overlooked.” Chakwas doesn’t have his heart in it anymore, and so Mel’s smile comes back in full force. “Well then come over and help me look for it. The worst that can happen is that your right!”
Chakwas bit his lower lip, a sure sign that he was thinking. Mel didn’t even try and stop him when he turned back towards his office. Either Mel had him, or he didn’t, and there wasn’t anything Mel could do now except mess it up. It took the whole four minutes of walking into the building and up to Chakwa’s office before the lower lip finally became un-bit. Turning to him Chakwas sighed, “Alright, fine. But I’ll come to this warehouse of yours tomorrow and not a moment sooner! I have better things to do than help you find a malfunctioning machine.” Mel shook his head exuberantly and handed Chakwas a piece of paper. “Here’s the address. Noon tomorrow, don’t forget!”
The warehouse turned out to be an old, nearly abandoned building downtown. It had long ago been hollowed out, but whatever its use had been before it was now chock full of machinery and electronics. The first thing Chakwas asked upon viewing it was “How’d you afford all this?” Mel led him into the building. “DARPA is great if you know how to make it sound like your invention can blow something up.” He went over to a pile of computers and monitors, a tangled mess of cables coming going every which way marked the place. “I suppose if there is a malfunction it would take a while to sort it out.” said Mel with a blush.
Chakwas grumped, obviously it would take more than him if there was. Mel had tricked him here. But he might as well stay and watch since he’d taken the time anyway. The building was two stories and ran several hundred feet back from the entrance. All of it was taken up by something or other. “You set this up yourself?” Mel was typing something using several keyboards. “Oh no, the grant was quite extensive. If you had come up here when I had sent my e-mail you could have helped, there might have been a hundred people in here not three weeks ago.”
Chakwas let his jaw drop open. “A hundred, just how much money did you con out of them?” Mel hunkered down a little in response. Whatever it was it must have been a lot to get him embarrassed over it. Reading Chakwas expression Mel intervened quickly though, “No! No it’s all worth it. I mean after all how easy would winning a war be with a temporal direction machine?” Chakwas was up in a rage. “An working one! You said you’d gotten “a result” A result Malcolm is not a the same as a working device!”
Mel hunkered down again and mumbled “Well it doesn’t actually work yet.” Chakwas was about to storm out when he turned to look at the machinery filling the room. “You don’t mean to say this is an actual-”
Anyway: Huge Wall of Text I summon thee! What do you think:
Time is a river, and we are but raindrops falling into it. We each make our ripples, spreading out from ourselves forever, changing the flow in our own small way. But everything travels only in one direction, we always change what is ahead, and never what is behind…
“Dr. Chakwas! Dr. Chakwas over here!” Mel jogged across the uneven pavement to catch up with his former physics tutor. The man had finished his graduate degree two years ago and gone up to the podium on the same day Mel had received his bachelors. Chakwas finally deigned to take note of him, Mel was rather lanky and tall. He had grown what might generously be called a failure of a beard since graduating, not that Chakwas ever thought beards looked good on blond haired people anyway.
“Hello Malcolm. I’m surprised to see you again.” Mel had dealt with Chakwas on nearly a daily basis for two semesters, and so was not surprised by his former tutors off-putting nature. Mel knew the way to get through to him was to be as insistently cheery and good natured as possible, so that eventually Chakwas would ascede to any demands just to get rid of him. With this in mind Mel laughed and gave Chakwas a good natured slap on the back.
“Well I don’t see why. Look I’ve got something to show you, it’s neat, really. How about you come by my warehouse later today?” Chakwas grunted and tried to speed. His office on the campus was only a block away, and if he could got there quickly he could wave Mel off with the excuse of being incredibly busy. Mel knew all this and was having none of it. “C’mon Doc, what do you say? I promise you won’t be disappointed!” Mel laughed again, and Chakwas barely dodged another pat on the back.
“Look, I’m sorry to disappoint you Malcolm but I’m very busy and don’t have time to view another one of your crackpot experiments.” Mel simply laughed again, Chakwas was running out of ammo! The small, dark haired man couldn’t keep up with Mel’s lanky strides no matter how fast he walked, and Mel had been sure to check that Chakwas had in fact already finished grading his students midterms.
Still, perhaps it was time for Mel to drop the cheery act. Chakwas was obviously in no mood to be messed with, and Mel really needed his input this time. Setting a stern face Mel goes on “Look, I know what you think of my research. But do you honestly think sitting classrooms for another three years would have taught me anything?” Chakwas had had enough, spinning on Mel with his finger upraised he growls out “You would have been done in four semesters or less and you know it! And yes, I do think that it would have taught you something, for example it would have taught you to forget these ridiculous notions of yours and focus on real science!”
That was it! Now he had Chakwas right where he wanted him. Mel fought hard to keep his face stern, “I’ve gotten a result.” Chakwas face went slack, you could have tipped him over with a feather. It took him a good three minutes to regain his composure before he finally responds, “It’s probably just a false reading. Some sort of stupid malfunction you’ve overlooked.” Chakwas doesn’t have his heart in it anymore, and so Mel’s smile comes back in full force. “Well then come over and help me look for it. The worst that can happen is that your right!”
Chakwas bit his lower lip, a sure sign that he was thinking. Mel didn’t even try and stop him when he turned back towards his office. Either Mel had him, or he didn’t, and there wasn’t anything Mel could do now except mess it up. It took the whole four minutes of walking into the building and up to Chakwa’s office before the lower lip finally became un-bit. Turning to him Chakwas sighed, “Alright, fine. But I’ll come to this warehouse of yours tomorrow and not a moment sooner! I have better things to do than help you find a malfunctioning machine.” Mel shook his head exuberantly and handed Chakwas a piece of paper. “Here’s the address. Noon tomorrow, don’t forget!”
The warehouse turned out to be an old, nearly abandoned building downtown. It had long ago been hollowed out, but whatever its use had been before it was now chock full of machinery and electronics. The first thing Chakwas asked upon viewing it was “How’d you afford all this?” Mel led him into the building. “DARPA is great if you know how to make it sound like your invention can blow something up.” He went over to a pile of computers and monitors, a tangled mess of cables coming going every which way marked the place. “I suppose if there is a malfunction it would take a while to sort it out.” said Mel with a blush.
Chakwas grumped, obviously it would take more than him if there was. Mel had tricked him here. But he might as well stay and watch since he’d taken the time anyway. The building was two stories and ran several hundred feet back from the entrance. All of it was taken up by something or other. “You set this up yourself?” Mel was typing something using several keyboards. “Oh no, the grant was quite extensive. If you had come up here when I had sent my e-mail you could have helped, there might have been a hundred people in here not three weeks ago.”
Chakwas let his jaw drop open. “A hundred, just how much money did you con out of them?” Mel hunkered down a little in response. Whatever it was it must have been a lot to get him embarrassed over it. Reading Chakwas expression Mel intervened quickly though, “No! No it’s all worth it. I mean after all how easy would winning a war be with a temporal direction machine?” Chakwas was up in a rage. “An working one! You said you’d gotten “a result” A result Malcolm is not a the same as a working device!”
Mel hunkered down again and mumbled “Well it doesn’t actually work yet.” Chakwas was about to storm out when he turned to look at the machinery filling the room. “You don’t mean to say this is an actual-”