Language Question

[TheKeck]

I have found an interesting language descrepency with my wife. I'm wondering how you all feel on the subject.

If I say, "My wife and I have been married for about three and a half years," what do you think I mean?

[zarathstra]

That you and the person you call your wife have been married for that length of time. of course, since you are by definition married to your wife, I guess it could be considered redundant?

[Superman's Dead]

...sounds like Keck's in trouble. =D

[TheKeck]

That you and the person you call your wife have been married for that length of time. of course, since you are by definition married to your wife, I guess it could be considered redundant?
Interesting info, but not exactly what I was getting at. You must have posted right before the poll went up. ;)

[Sandman]

It means you forgot the day you got married on and your wife put you on the couch?

[TheKeck]

Trouble? FEH! I'm in charge around here!

Right, honey?

[Ten19]

Is she upset because you said "about" ? Shouldn't you know the exact day, month years of your bliss together? :p

[GigaFuzz]

I don't see how that can be interpreted as anything other than '3 years and 6 months, give or take a few months either way'.

What did your wife think?

[TheKeck]

Is she upset because you said "about" ? Shouldn't you know the exact day, month years of your bliss together? :p
"About" IS the word in question, but the problem isn't what you describe. ;)

[TheKeck]

I don't see how that can be interpreted as anything other than '3 years and 6 months, give or take a few months either way'.

What did your wife think?
I'll get to that; want to get more votes in before I sully this HIGHLY scientific experiment with bias, though. :D

[Ox]

I figure you meant you were trapped in a loveless relationship and you two were simply waiting for the other to die.

[Johan]

Right, honey?

I see some shrinkage. :D

[TheKeck]

I figure you meant you were trapped in a loveless relationship and you two were simply waiting for the other to die.
You are the most wrong of anyone ever. :mad:

[NoName]

I didn't realize there were multiple ways to interpret this... I'm curious to see what the discrepancies between you were.

[Food Nipple]

I figure you meant you were trapped in a loveless relationship and you two were simply waiting for the other to die.

Obviously you overlooked the location, he's in Utah. He doesn't have to wait to take that second wife. ;)

[Stmfuller]

Obviously you overlooked the location, he's in Utah. He doesn't have to wait to take that second wife. ;)

ding ding ding
We have a winner!

[Jboy001]

I am curious to where this thread ends up, my vote is cast

[Johan]

Language is fascinating. There is so much more to communication than just the words alone, though that is quite important. Punctuation, word choices, body language, facial expressions, tone/pitch; all of these things and more combine to create meaning.

[Squidbot]

The English language contains such wonderful words as emasculation and dominance.

[Spectre-7]

The English language contains such wonderful words as emasculation and dominance.

That's true, but it also has winners like misogyny and buggery.

[TheKeck]

All right, here's the answer. You guys are all pretty much with me. My wife, however, would have picked the first choice. She says that the word "about" means "almost" or "approaching". To say, about 3 1/2 years clearly means that we haven't hit that mark yet.

She says, what I want to use is the word "around" instead, because that could go either way. I tell her that she's a loon and that "about" means exactly the same things as "around".

Distressingly enough, looking at Webster, there does seem to be some basis for her side of the argument, but it's all shenanigons to me. I've NEVER thought of "about" meaning "almost" AT ALL.

[TheKeck]

Here's what I'm talking about:
Main Entry: 1about
Pronunciation: \ə-ˈbau̇t\
Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English abūtan, from 1a- + būtan outside — more at but
Date: before 12th century
1 a: reasonably close to <about a year ago>Seems to vindicate me b: almost <about starved>Totally different context, that's cool c: on the verge of —usually used with be and a following infinitive <is about to join the army>Again, totally reasonable different context —used with a negative to express intention or determination <not about to quit>
Entry Word: about
Function: adverb
Text:
1 on all sides or in every direction<people standing about waiting for a sales clerk to assist them>— see around 1
2 toward the opposite direction<turned about and saw the dog following him>— see around 2
3 very close to but not completely<about as many boys as girls signed up for home economics>— see almost WHAT THE HELL?!!!!

[Spectre-7]

Distressingly enough, looking at Webster, there does seem to be some basis for her side of the argument, but it's all shenanigons to me. I've NEVER thought of about meaning almost AT ALL.

No worries. There's also support for your side.

a⋅bout
   /əˈbaʊt/ [uh-bout]

–adverb
11. near in time, number, degree, etc.; approximately: It's about five miles from here.

[TheKeck]

Main Entry: about
Part of Speech: preposition
Definition: near an amount, quantity
Synonyms: almost bad, approximately good, in general good, in the ball park good, in the neighborhood good, nearly bad, practically bad, pretty nearly bad, roughly good

More.

Edit: Now that makes me think something else. I am clearly taking "nearly" to mean not quite there, but the root word "near" should suggest that this word could go either way as well. Weird.

[Alkanos]

Weird. "About" has always meant approximately to me. I've never heard it used to mean almost-but-not-quite. Hmm...or maybe I have and I just didn't realize that was what they meant. Something to think on!

Though this reminds me of something. A friend from high school has always insisted that "a few" means three. I've always though it means some number more than one but less than five or so. Though she corrected me in that "a couple" pretty universally means two. After thinking about it for a minute, that one made sense.

[TheKeck]

Weird. "About" has always meant approximately to me. I've never heard it used to mean almost-but-not-quite. Hmm...or maybe I have and I just didn't realize that was what they meant. Something to think on!

Though this reminds me of something. A friend from high school has always insisted that "a few" means three. I've always though it means some number more than one but less than five or so. Though she corrected me in that "a couple" pretty universally means two. After thinking about it for a minute, that one made sense.
Good point on people meaning that but us not realizing it possibly.

I'm with you on "a few". Although, I've heard plenty of people back the "it means three" philosophy. A couple is definitely two, but does that necessarily mean a few couldn't ALSO be two? ;)

[TheKeck]

Oh man, we finally got the first person that agrees completely with my wife. Come defend yourself EpicOfTyler! YOU'RE CRAZY!!!!!! ;) :p

[Bone]

That's funny. I am with you, Keck.

And here's one my wife and I argue all the time :)

While the thesaurus equates "lukewarm" and "tepid", I myself have always considered tepid to be a little colder than lukewarm- putting tepid just on the edge of going cold, where lukewarm is just edging towards warm. She sides with the thesaurus and I insist there is a tiny degree of meaning between the two- or that they are equal temperatures but vary by which direction they are moving (colder or warmer).

[TheKeck]

That's funny. I am with you, Keck.

And here's one my wife and I argue all the time :)

While the thesaurus equates "lukewarm" and "tepid", I myself have always considered tepid to be a little colder than lukewarm- putting tepid just on the edge of going cold, where lukewarm is just edging towards warm. She sides with the thesaurus and I insist there is a tiny degree of meaning between the two- or that they are equal temperatures but vary by which direction they are moving (colder or warmer).
Huh, that is interesting. Mostly, I just barely know what tepid means, so I guess I can't really agree or disagree with either of you. :o

[Bone]

It's just a "feel" I have for the word, I guess. Lukewarm has "warm" in it, and "tepid" seems to feel... cold to me for some reason.

[JRR006]

I use "nearly" to say things like "nearly there." In that case, I guess it does mean "almost, but not quite."

"About," however - "The book is about 500 pages" or "I've been in my current apartment about three years" always means it's around that number, but it could be more or less.

[Purple Santa]

Must be a female thing. I asked ADD and she agrees with your wife, Keck.

[Ox]

"About" as in "nearly" is used pretty commonly: "We should be about at the train station now" indicates you obviously aren't quite there yet (it would be obvious), but arrival is imminent.

Although in such contexts, I find it best to dispel any ambiguity by simply using the word "nigh."

[TheKeck]

"About" as in "nearly" is used pretty commonly: "We should be about at the train station now" indicates you obviously aren't quite there yet (it would be obvious), but arrival is imminent.

Although in such contexts, I find it best to dispel any ambiguity by simply using the word "nigh."
Yeah, that's true. It always seems obvious in that way, though. If I had said, "We've about reached 3 1/2 years of marriage", or even "We've about been married 3 1/2 years", it would totally mean that. The placement of about after the verb makes all the difference I think.

[TheKeck]

Must be a female thing. I asked ADD and she agrees with your wife, Keck.
Cursed females!! :p

My sister agreed with me, though.

[GigaFuzz]

It seems that just like most of the English language, context is key. To me, 'about' when used with a measure or quantity would mean roughly or approximately, but when used with, for example, an infintive ('about to arrive', 'about to board') it would mean 'almost, but not quite'.

[Tron]

how is this even up for debate?

[GigaFuzz]

how is this even up for debate?

This is the Internet. People will argue over anything.

Cue someone saying "No we don't!"...

[TheKeck]

So, NOW my wife is saying that I didn't say "FOR about 3 1/2 years" but just that "we've been married about 3 1/2 years". She thinks the poll would have gone more her way if I left out the "for". Anybody want to change their vote? :p

[Bone]

No, she's wrong. About means roughly. More or less.

[Khrymsyn]

Where's the correct poll answer?

"You're male, she's female. Meaning you're automatically wrong no matter what proof or logic dictates."

[roboninja]

All right, here's the answer. You guys are all pretty much with me. My wife, however, would have picked the first choice. She says that the word "about" means "almost" or "approaching". To say, about 3 1/2 years clearly means that we haven't hit that mark yet.

She says, what I want to use is the word "around" instead, because that could go either way. I tell her that she's a loon and that "about" means exactly the same things as "around".

Distressingly enough, looking at Webster, there does seem to be some basis for her side of the argument, but it's all shenanigons to me. I've NEVER thought of "about" meaning "almost" AT ALL.


I voted for the second choice, I am in her camp. About does seem to me to refer to something that approaches the amount stated, but has not passed it. I voted the second option and not the first because I know people use the about term differently, so I could not be sure you had not yet reached 3.5 years.

No, she's wrong. About means roughly. More or less.
Pistols at dawn, good sir. :p

[Doctor Setebos]

If I said to my wife "we've been married for about 7 1/2 years", she wouldn't argue my usage of the word "about"; she'd kick me for reminding her that we've been married for so long. :D

[TheKeck]

I voted for the second choice, I am in her camp. About does seem to me to refer to something that approaches the amount stated, but has not passed it. I voted the second option and not the first because I know people use the about term differently, so I could not be sure you had not yet reached 3.5 years.
So, here's the thing. Do you have any idea WHY you think that? I mean, 78+% of us never learned it that way.

I'm genuinely very curious about it all at this point. Why is it that a few people somehow got it in their head that "about" means almost, whereas most everyone else didn't?

[roboninja]

So, here's the thing. Do you have any idea WHY you think that? I mean, 78+% of us never learned it that way.

I'm genuinely very curious about it all at this point. Why is it that a few people somehow got it in their head that "about" means almost, whereas most everyone else didn't?

Good question, but I am not sure I have an answer. Maybe it is a regional thing, I am not sure. All I know is, when I am not sure of an amount, and it could be higher or lower than the one I am giving, I will use the term "around". I save about for when I know it is lower. If I know a book has 490-something pages, I might say "it has about 500 pages". But if I knew it had more than 500 pages, I would not say that; at least, not intentionally.

Truthfully, I would have expected to be proven wrong outright, but some of your thesaurus sources seem to (at least potentially) side with me, so I guess it has roots somewhere.

[Bone]

Pistols at dawn, good sir. :p
Let's say "about" dawn then. ;)

[TheKeck]

I prefer my pistols at about dusk.