Assholes on the Internet [Archive]

Dorkandproudofit

11-11-2008, 11:06 PM

I've been playing a lot of online gaming, and to my surprise (not really) I found it to be teeming with assholes who never hesitate to tell me how much I suck at the game before they begin TKing me and sending me PMs detailing my rumored homosexual exploits. My method of dealing with such cretins is hardly original, but it works:

If someone is an asshole to me, I'm an asshole right back.

And I'm usually better at it than they are.

Anyone else have stories to share about the darker (and considerably dumber) denizens of the gaming community and how they deal with them?

Wolvie

11-11-2008, 11:11 PM

I turned my voice chat on XBL to "friends only" and haven't had a problem since. I highly recommend that anyone that gets annoyed with mouthy morons in online games to do the same.

Sandman

11-11-2008, 11:12 PM

You know how I deal with them? Don't play with them. I very rarely use public match making in a game. Most of the time I'm playing it's with someone I know from here or elsewhere.

UWCrash

11-12-2008, 12:31 AM

I knew what this thread was going to be when I saw the title, and had to make the remark that "The Sky Is Blue" or "Water Is Wet". It's a tautology.

And I don't have any great stories. The last time I remember playing a purely public match was for the "Always Remember Your First" achievement for GoW1, whiich I didn't get until 6 months after the game had come out. Most of the other players were frat boy dipshits who ran their mouths the whole time.

Jeffool

11-12-2008, 12:35 AM

I think it's the collective form of the noun, actually.
"What's a group of fish called?"
"A school."

"What's an anonymous group of assholes called?"
"An Internet."

rinichanraar

11-12-2008, 01:07 AM

ClannerDelta

11-12-2008, 01:15 AM

Squidbot

11-12-2008, 01:22 AM

rinichanraar

11-12-2008, 01:22 AM

Really? I've played with about 20ish random CoG'rs and their friends with a few old names and no one's been remotely down on me for being entirely unable to aim. Most of my kills are stun grenades + chainsaw. :p

Though, in a game with Kielaran and a few others we got stomped into the dirt by the other team (BiG) and they were genuinely good people afterward. Then we ran into some children that needed a swift ass-kicking.

I've never actually had a bad experience playing with anyone from here, but I haven't played with very many people overall considering I've been on EvAv and here for a few years now. I guess I've only recently started playing games with CoGers more frequently recently (like, since Gears 2 came out). I just get the impression that there might be a couple of people I should avoid, but I could be completely wrong (and I hope so!).

It's possible to win at games? Damn!

I pretty much never play public games, ever. Any online console game I will only play with friends and friends of friends.

Sounds like we're pretty much in the same boat! Also, I think I've spotted you on LIVE around the same time as me a couple of times despite the huge time difference. You were interested in the NoW2 team, too, right? (Though I don't imagine you're actually a Noob of War... you're just being nice. :p)

jacob.armitage

11-12-2008, 01:23 AM

its rare i ever even nab my headset unless its friend i'm playing with. but thats generally just becasue the mrs is in the same room as me, and to be honest i don't really get botherd by playing with assholes. it just comes with the territory.

having said that though, i am a very casual player and just play for fun, win or lose.

Squidbot

11-12-2008, 01:30 AM

Sounds like we're pretty much in the same boat! Also, I think I've spotted you on LIVE around the same time as me a couple of times despite the huge time difference. You were interested in the NoW2 team, too, right? (Though I don't imagine you're actually a Noob of War... you're just being nice. :p)

Sweet, shoot me an invite next time. I'm not really a noob but I really don't give a flying feck about winning or losing, it's all about the inane laughter. The main reason I was interested is because it seems to be a group of people from this community that I would like to play with, time zone notwithstanding.

rinichanraar

11-12-2008, 01:48 AM

Sweet, shoot me an invite next time. I'm not really a noob but I really don't give a flying feck about winning or losing, it's all about the inane laughter. The main reason I was interested is because it seems to be a group of people from this community that I would like to play with, time zone notwithstanding.

That's pretty much how I feel, too. According to urbandictionary, I'm technically not really a noob, but for the purposes of Gears 2 matchmaking here, I'm going to continue to call myself one because I'm not great at it, but I'm also not horrible. (At least I didn't get last in kills that frequently, anyway. :))

Purple Santa

11-12-2008, 01:56 AM

I just avoid playing games with random people now. I really only play multiplayer with people I know in person or on CoG. Even then, I kind of feel like I should be selective about which CoGers I do play with because I'd rather not deal with anyone too hardcore about winning every single time. I guess that's why several of us started the whole Noobs of War 2 team. :p
I am proud to say I am part of that Noobs of War 2 :D. Although I've yet gotten a chance to play with any of them yet...Dead Space has drawn me in...but the weekend is coming...

I haven't done the online gaming to much. Did it with GTA IV and now GOW 2. Have I heard and seen some asshats...yep. Do I play with them? Yeah. I'm really not bothered someone's need to feel "free" when they are anonymous. If it bothered me that much I would leave the mic off. I use the public match making to practice if I can't find anyone I know. And since my list of friends is growing, maybe I wont be public practicing for long. But I don't take it to heart. Now no one has sent me emails etc to me, suggesting as they have online that I take it up the ass...but i'm sure I would do the same as I do online...ignore it. Everyone has there limits of tolerance and certainly not saying anyone should take an earful. If you know that bothers you, then obviously don't play public matchmaking. Life's to short Dork...it's human behavior that where we can be hidden, some feel the need to act their worst.

VerseD

11-12-2008, 02:21 AM

My high school friends and I used to be top notch assholes in Counter Strike 1.6. We'd camp in the spawn and teamflash, block doorways and ladders, shoot the hostages, sing Disney songs over the mic, all that. When everyone else on our team was dead, we flickshotted the shit out of the CTs and saved the day. It sounds kind of bad when you add it all up, but it was good times.

I remember one time when we pissed off this guy so much just by talking shit to him. He was in the Marines for a week before they drummed him out for failing his PT test, and he said he was contemplating suicide. He told this sad story to a full server after we said he sucked a few times.

My favorite trick was a glitch which would lag out the server. We used it when an admin threatened to kick us. It would make all the hud features (health, ammo, money, radar, scorelist) lag about a minute behind the action, screw up people's keyboard binds, and kick random players. Flashbangs also lagged, so we would throw a bunch in front of people and the flash would kick in a minute later when they were fighting or something.

Some of this spirit remains with me. I play DotA with a few of the same people and we talk shit every once in a while. On Xbox Live, though, or anywhere where I use a headset, I'm Johnny Asskisser. Must be the impersonal anonymity of typing. Or I grew up and got laid.

How do I deal with people like me? I ignore them. Mute them or turn down the volume on Xbox Live, and /squelch or /dnd elsewhere. That's one feature I sometimes wish carried over into real life.

n3rdXcore

11-12-2008, 03:44 AM

"What's an anonymous group of assholes called?"
"An Internet."

Haha. Oh, Jeff.

Crowe

11-12-2008, 04:31 AM

I just throw it back at them. I'm a pretty good MP gamer so I don't have too much trouble, I just let them have it whenever I kill them.

Like in Dota about 30 mins ago. The host was being a fuck tard, saying 'owned' and 'noob after every kill he got or when someone on our team died. He forced me to go Mega Kill and he got a "fail" everytime I killed him, which was multiple times. Dota and CS are such rage hard, abusive games, you really can't take it too heart.

As for X-box live, not being able to type annoys me and I don't get into the spirit of things as much as on PC, so I just don't talk/listen to anyone and chill out.

muddi900

11-12-2008, 04:52 AM

I think it's the collective form of the noun, actually.
"What's an anonymous group of assholes called?"
"An Internet."

Sigged!

2shorts!!!

neutralism

11-12-2008, 06:20 AM

If someone is an asshole to me, I'm an asshole right back.

This is the key to 360 Live gaming enjoyment right here. In my case, I'll listen to the banter in the lobby and then decide who I am going to have fun with once the game starts based on their degree of verbal "assholeness," usually starting with racists, homophobes (saying "gay" every other word, kind of like in the CoG IRC room sometimes), or the 420 goons. :)

I don't use the mic, but I recommend using this for extra laughs:

http://i34.tinypic.com/2pq43d3.jpg

This is working particularly well in angering morons in Vigilante 8: Arcade currently, though you should have a different sound bank ready based on the game you are playing. :)

I won't go into my personal in-game shenanigan techniques, but you can be creative in many ways. Plus, you'll find your skill gets better in certain areas when all on both teams are constantly trying to kill you.

Also, afterwards, be sure to put your marks on "prefer" so that you have a better chance of matching with them in future games. Your Gamertag reputation will suffer, but I've been doing this for a while now and I've never gone below 5 stars on my tag.

I just avoid playing games with random people now.

I'm the opposite as I only exclusively play against random people. I have no friends at all on CoG. Although, if I did, I would play in an acceptably mundane fashion to promote teamwork.

fitbabits

11-12-2008, 06:38 AM

Jeez, Dork, you're such an asshole.

Blue

11-12-2008, 07:01 AM

In every single online game I play (save for an MMO), I immediately mute everyone. My life has never been happier.

roboninja

11-12-2008, 08:15 AM

Meh, I pub quite a bit. While the idiots can be annoying, that's what mute features are for. I cannot remember the last time I yelled at or insulted someone...outside of these forums, that is :)

Poewan

11-12-2008, 08:29 AM

I turned my voice chat on XBL to "friends only" and haven't had a problem since. I highly recommend that anyone that gets annoyed with mouthy morons in online games to do the same.

This, FTW. I used to have an issue with 12 years old on Live until a buddy of mine told me of this. Basically, it auto mutes anyone that isnt on your friends list, and I think they cant hear you either. Its perfect.

Also, it fixes a certain issue for us. See, the people I play with on Live are 2-3 real life friends. The issue is, our first language is french, and while we all speak workable english, between us we revert to french. And that pisses/annoy people off, which I can understand. Its not much of an issue when we form a full team by ourselves ( a 5 man team on gears 2 for example ), but when we got random people playing with us, they tend to start screaming " ENGLISH!!!" in the mic before long hehe....this handy little feature fixes that, since were silent to them. Now if only you could change that setting without logging off Live.....

ClannerDelta

11-12-2008, 08:35 AM

Meh, I pub quite a bit. While the idiots can be annoying, that's what mute features are for. I cannot remember the last time I yelled at or insulted someone...outside of these forums, that is :)

Quick mute is great if it's in the game. Otherwise I have to deal with the slowloading blades to mute someone, which is generally more trouble than calling them a nerf herder.

Commissar Rob

11-12-2008, 08:42 AM

KingGorilla

11-12-2008, 08:53 AM

The phases of getting fed up with assholes on the internet:
1 Bitching
2 Cancelling Xbox Live (Microsoft has unapologetically created a community of fucktardsa, almost to a point of pride)
3 Playing only with People you find on web communities(GWJ, EvAv, CoG)
4 Only playing with friends
5 Single player only or 1x1 multiplayer only.

People suck, doing anything with people sucks, playing games with people sucks.

ClannerDelta

11-12-2008, 08:54 AM

But as far as the big releases? Yeah, bots or nothing.

Coward and traitor. You're supposed to go out there and enlighten the masses, even if it takes a bolt of cleansing light. Yet you forsake your duties for some... machine? /execute

Blue

11-12-2008, 09:10 AM

I like bots. A lot. Really, it's the only way I'll play counter-strike. I play WoW now and again but only because I've got a friend in California that plays too. It's a great excuse to hope on vent and chat.

But as far as the big releases? Yeah, bots or nothing.

I'm the exact same way. Unless the game has bots in it I rarely play multiplayer unless it's split-screen with a buddy. I don't have the patience to put up with other people.

And in WoW, I never got on Vent. I'm not playing to listen to multiple people spam my headset and make inane jokes. Typing works just fine.

ClannerDelta

11-12-2008, 09:12 AM

And in WoW, I never got on Vent. I'm not playing to listen to multiple people spam my headset and make inane jokes. Typing works just fine.

I'll be honest, that just bored me like when someone says Fly fishing is exciting.

wyeast

11-12-2008, 09:14 AM

Really? I've played with about 20ish random CoG'rs and their friends with a few old names and no one's been remotely down on me for being entirely unable to aim.
You, good sir, are a liar. I can personally attest to your ability to aim. :p

I generally steer clear of the unwashed masses. The only times it really comes up with our group is on games w/ matchmaking like Halo3 or CoD4. Honestly tho', my interest in those games wanes fast over time as the ratio of good sports vs asshats starts to spike.

Generally I don't say much to the bozos. I just let my fist do the talking in the following round. (or I just suck and get shot at a lot) :o :D

Mdot

11-12-2008, 09:15 AM

I turned my voice chat on XBL to "friends only" and haven't had a problem since. I highly recommend that anyone that gets annoyed with mouthy morons in online games to do the same.

True. That's the way to go.

Commissar Rob

11-12-2008, 09:17 AM

Coward and traitor. You're supposed to go out there and enlighten the masses, even if it takes a bolt of cleansing light. Yet you forsake your duties for some... machine? /executeThe machine spirit never questions my sexuality or parentage. Seldom does it pour forth bile like a sailor with tourette's syndrome.

Seriously, I play games to relax. I really don't want to experience someone else using a game to deal with what are apparently some really complex psychological issues...

Commissar Rob

11-12-2008, 09:18 AM

And in WoW, I never got on Vent. I'm not playing to listen to multiple people spam my headset and make inane jokes. Typing works just fine. I just hop on a local server with my friend and we keep it at that. Nice, private, and jerk-free.

Blue

11-12-2008, 09:21 AM

I'll be honest, that just bored me like when someone says Fly fishing is exciting.

WoW bores you or Vent bores you or what I just said bored you like Fly fishing? I suppose all of the above are candidates :).

ClannerDelta

11-12-2008, 09:24 AM

WoW bores you or Vent bores you or what I just said bored you like Fly fishing? I suppose all of the above are candidates :).

Just the idea that you prefer typing over Vent. Though, WoW is a close second in that mini-list.

Blue

11-12-2008, 09:34 AM

Just the idea that you prefer typing over Vent. Though, WoW is a close second in that mini-list.

Ah, yeah. Understood. I know some people who absolutely love Vent and more power to them. I can just much more easily ignore people if it's typed rather than having to listen to then drone. But really, I don't even like owning a cell phone, so I'm just more of a hermit type.

roboninja

11-12-2008, 09:37 AM

Quick mute is great if it's in the game. Otherwise I have to deal with the slowloading blades to mute someone, which is generally more trouble than calling them a nerf herder.

Bla-des?? Oh, that's a 360 thing, carry on :)

ClannerDelta

11-12-2008, 09:42 AM

Ah, yeah. Understood. I know some people who absolutely love Vent and more power to them. I can just much more easily ignore people if it's typed rather than having to listen to then drone. But really, I don't even like owning a cell phone, so I'm just more of a hermit type.
Yeah, I just prefer the speed of talking.

Bla-des?? Oh, that's a 360 thing, carry on :)

After playing Counter Strike years ago. I pretty much gave up on PC FPS's for online. Sprays, fuck sprays, fuck them right in their fucking fuck holes. I can ignore a lot of things, but turning a corner and getting a face full of Goatse, Lotus boob, tub girl, or worse, was just pretty much when I swore off the PC FPS scene. Should probably try it out again.

biosc1

11-12-2008, 10:53 AM

Also, it fixes a certain issue for us. See, the people I play with on Live are 2-3 real life friends. The issue is, our first language is french, and while we all speak workable english, between us we revert to french. And that pisses/annoy people off, which I can understand. Its not much of an issue when we form a full team by ourselves ( a 5 man team on gears 2 for example ), but when we got random people playing with us, they tend to start screaming " ENGLISH!!!" in the mic before long hehe....this handy little feature fixes that, since were silent to them. Now if only you could change that setting without logging off Live.....

I never understand this...you're playing "against the world", of course people are going to come up against other languages. Whenever I hear French, German, or Spanish, it just makes me regret never learning those languages. It never affects me personally in a game though.

Best moment I had recently was an NHL 09 game with the Montreal Canadiens vs Toronto Maple Leafs. I was the only person on the Montreal team who wasn't speaking French...even though I didn't really know what was going on, I knew enough French to get by and it really set the mood :)

I am the most mellow person people will meet online. You cannot rile me because I just keep coming back for more...

I played a RB6:Vegas 2 game a few months back and I joined a team that was all clan members. They wanted me to switch teams (I couldn't because the other was full), so they ended up TK'ing me right off the spawn...then they got tired of doing that and I kept killing the opponents and not reciprocating on them. In the end we had a good match, minus their childishness.

JayVe

11-12-2008, 10:58 AM

I find it downright hysterical that so many of you only play with friends. If you don't have people you know who have the same game, then the Online Play isn't very much of a selling point, is it?

Blue

11-12-2008, 11:01 AM

I find it downright hysterical that so many of you only play with friends. If you don't have people you know who have the same game, then the Online Play isn't very much of a selling point, is it?

I just mostly hate people which keeps me from branching out. Though this thread is reminding me that I need to start getting your people's gamertags on my friends list so I have people I don't hate to play with.

violent

11-12-2008, 11:03 AM

Maybe it's just me but I never get harassed nor do I ever see the blatant bigot(well, maybe once or twice in Halo 3). I blame my lack of harassment on not sucking I guess. That or years in the real world knowing how to shut someone the fuck up.

MachEnergy

11-12-2008, 11:06 AM

Poignant topic today. I came across this Digg...
http://digg.com/comedy/5_Ways_to_Stop_Trolls_From_Killing_the_Internet

It was a really well done article (on Cracked!) so if you like it, be sure to Digg it.

Re3x

11-12-2008, 11:06 AM

Its weird to see everyone freak out about XBL, because I had this when it was allowed in Counter-Strike. All the music and yelling.... oh god. I guess the annoying kids on XBL does prove that Microsoft really made it easy for anyone to jump onto games and talk to other people.

Here is come lemonade.

biosc1

11-12-2008, 11:15 AM

Here is come lemonade.

Not sure I would want that...is it salty?

wyeast

11-12-2008, 12:31 PM

I find it downright hysterical that so many of you only play with friends. If you don't have people you know who have the same game, then the Online Play isn't very much of a selling point, is it?
Well, it's not so much only. More like prefer. I get enough pubbie time that I actually don't play w/ chat on "friends only" because I feel I'm just hurting myself trying to relay info in CoD4 to only part of the team. :o

And sometimes it can be hilarious, too. Just ask Dis about his good buddy, OCOdysseus. :D

Gormanimal

11-12-2008, 12:33 PM

Yeah, I don't usually get too many assholes yelling at me. When I do get the odd one I just ignore them, or find some means of muting them.

Narradisall

11-13-2008, 07:33 AM

My current reply to assholes on Gears 2 is to down them, pick up their bodies and dance them across the map. I play pub a lot, but generally I just unplug the mic or ignore them if its a bunch of idiots, or people playing music, or singing.

Why do people insist on singing on Live?!?!?

MachEnergy

11-13-2008, 07:34 AM

Why do people insist on singing on Live?!?!?

....or "rapping"

TrackZero

11-13-2008, 07:37 AM

You know how I deal with them? Don't play with them. I very rarely use public match making in a game. Most of the time I'm playing it's with someone I know from here or elsewhere.

Exactly, I pretty much only game with friends, CoG members and the odd other acquaintance. The only time I hear random internet slime is in between team matches of Call of Duty when you hear the other team, which I don't mind. It's usually brief, sometimes funny and occasionally a good experience (oh so many jokes to me made from that comment).

And usually playing with your team, you can tear up those idiots if/when you do get in a conversation with them.

Commissar Rob

11-13-2008, 07:51 AM

Not sure I would want that...is it salty?

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2002/20020211h.gif

Virtual Machine

11-13-2008, 09:16 AM

I tend to avoid the public at large, but i'm not adverse to sticking around for a few matches with strangers if everyone's having a good time.

wyeast

11-13-2008, 09:40 AM

That Fruit Fucker. Always tells it like it is. :D

Schnoogs

11-13-2008, 09:45 AM

Phew...I thought this thread was about me

JayVe

11-13-2008, 09:59 AM

Phew...I thought this thread was about me

Nah. If so, the title would have been singular... rather than plural. :D

Dorkandproudofit

11-13-2008, 10:09 AM

Phew...I thought this thread was about me

I was going to do an "Schnoogs is an asshole" thread, but so many have been done already it seemed like beating a dead horse. :D

I kid, I kid. We still love you, Schnoogsie!

Inspector Fowler

11-13-2008, 06:38 PM

Also, afterwards, be sure to put your marks on "prefer" so that you have a better chance of matching with them in future games. Your Gamertag reputation will suffer, but I've been doing this for a while now and I've never gone below 5 stars on my tag.

Does this EVER happen? I have a friend who has two modes: Asshole waiting for somebody to set him off, and Asshole who feels like starting some shit.

The Live "rep" system (which is fucking pointless) says that something like 60% of people who have rated him hate him, but he's still at 5 stars. I don't know how you can get any lower than that...

Rakael

11-13-2008, 06:48 PM

I'll either toy with them, or just mute them. Sometimes I'll mute em and talk around them just to piss em off.

rinichanraar

11-13-2008, 06:50 PM

The Live "rep" system (which is fucking pointless) says that something like 60% of people who have rated him hate him, but he's still at 5 stars. I don't know how you can get any lower than that...

I think you start out at 3 stars, right? I rarely play multiplayer, and as a result, my "rep" has been 4.5 stars forever. It's kind of funny. I wonder if it encourages people to not play with me. :confused:

pomeroy

11-13-2008, 07:17 PM

I think you start out at 3 stars, right? I rarely play multiplayer, and as a result, my "rep" has been 4.5 stars forever. It's kind of funny. I wonder if it encourages people to not play with me. :confused:

It's cool. I had a bad connection for a while in my last apartment and I would sometimes get disconnected. So the only negative rep I even have is "quit early". AND I NEVER QUIT EARLY. Basically, the rep system doesn't mean much.

And, to be honest...I never look at rep until someone's been a giant douche.

Inspector Fowler

11-13-2008, 08:07 PM

I use the hell out of the feedback system. CoD4 and BF:BC gave that shit a workout. For a while I tried an experiment - I would mute everybody that I gave negative feedback to (we're probably talking between 50 and 100 people) and see if they would show up later as a muted person, but only one or two ever did, where I would recognize other Gamertags more frequently. It's not proof positive, of course, but it made me feel a leeeeetle bit like the system was working to keep douchebags away from me.

I don't have great feedback myself. This is because I have...moments. Like, if I get TKed out of the Artillery in BF:BC, I will TK the person who got me 1 or 2 times - then, after that, I just charge them each time I see them, spraying bullets but never killing them - they rack up the TKs pretty fast that way. After (I think) 5 or so TKs on the same person, you get kicked.

Shit like this is why my feedback is low. I have a high tolerance for bullshit but when you pass that line, I will spend an hour just having fun making your night lame.

J Arcane

11-13-2008, 08:18 PM

I rarely, if ever, play public games, except when I basically have no other choice, as is the case with many PC games. I generally will even play with bots before I'll play with random pubbies.

COD4 I only played on a private server, TF2 I generally preferred to play on locked server night, in MMOs I almost exclusively solo, unless I have a few friends to party with.

Really, I'm not super huge on online play in general, I like LANning better because it's just more fun when everyone's in the same room. Plus there's way less lag.

Talon

11-14-2008, 10:07 AM

I've only had a couple issues, and I've reported them right away. Still, I've actually run into plenty of nice folks (mostly brits, oddly enough) playing Halo 3 publicly. COD4 really seems to bring the asshats out in droves, though. Mostly 11-year-olds with no sense of public decorum.

I can't play online out here at school, though, 'cause the landlord is a stickler with the Internet, which is a shame 'cause I'd love to play some Horde. Guess that's what Christmas break is for.

ClannerDelta

11-14-2008, 10:33 AM

I can't play online out here at school, though, 'cause the landlord is a stickler with the Internet, which is a shame 'cause I'd love to play some Horde. Guess that's what Christmas break is for.

Tell your landlord to quit being a douche nozzle or you're gonna frag him, his mother, his mother's sister, and some sort of furry quadruped. Then question his sexual orientation and his basement dwelling practices.