Zero Punctuation [Archive] - Page 9

BigJonno

09-21-2011, 02:17 PM

Which is probably how it should be. It's "Game Of The Year" not "Best Technical Innovation in Gaming This Year". To me a GOTY should be the game that best combined a rich story, almost total immersion, great audio and graphics and robust gameplay into one complete package as opposed to technical innovation like, say, Rage.

I think it's the right criteria for those publications and their readership. I wouldn't say it's the best or only option.

CES

09-21-2011, 02:32 PM

I think it's the right criteria for those publications and their readership. I wouldn't say it's the best or only option.

Quite true which is why most major award groups have multiple categories. I think GOTY should absolutely go to the best all-around game but it's not like "Voted Best Gameplay at E3" is a minor award. The BAFTAS do it right I think.

Wackman3000

09-21-2011, 03:08 PM

Dead Island (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4694-Dead-Island) this week.

I can agree with most of what he said except for the comment on escort missions which has showed up in other reviews as well. Having finished the game, I never once failed an escort missions, even if I died in the process. He specifically mentions the NPCs running into Thugs, but I swear that anytime an escortee was going to cross paths with one, they'd hang back until I cleared the way.

I can't remember which escort mission it was, but I absolutely had the moron rush into a thug and died, making me restart the mission TWICE before I took the initiative to keep way farther ahead of him so I could get the Thug before he ran towards him with his wooden plank or whatever crappy weapon was in his hands.

I agree with most of his comments as well, but I still find the game quite enjoyable. There's something to pulverizing zombie skull that makes me smile.

JayK47

09-21-2011, 05:24 PM

Ha. And the best part is, I now want to play this game that I own that much less. Another game that doesn't age well. Do you think any of his concerns will get patched out? It has been awfully quiet since the whole "sorry about that dev build" fiasco.

crazyD

09-21-2011, 06:48 PM

The escort missions are the worst, but they aren't terrible for escort missions. I have only had one escort die on me, but that was due to my clear negligence. They do have a tendency to run away from zombies (smart), but they also have a tendency to run away from you (dumb). When I'm hanging back to finish off some zombies, the AI should be smart enough to notice this, and keep the escortee near me. Not run ahead of me to the next group of flesh eating monsters. That said, if you make sure to run when they run and fight when they fight, you shouldn't run into any real problems on these missions.

I'd really want to play a creature from the black lagoon apocalypse game.

Or, a version based on it's tragically never made blaxploitation ripoff, The Black Creature from the Lagoon.

TheKeck

09-28-2011, 11:59 AM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4728-Resistance-3

I really enjoyed where he went in the end with it.

Hotcod

09-28-2011, 05:31 PM

I've not enjoyed an episode this much in a while. His always good but this one was one of those real works of genius we get from time to time. Funny as hell as well as being insightful :)

Spigot

09-28-2011, 08:07 PM

The scientist has a BEARD! :)

Wasson_

09-29-2011, 07:57 AM

I've been meaning to pick up a PS3 sometime over the next two months, good to know Resistance 3 can deliver.

Narradisall

09-30-2011, 09:12 AM

Hahaha, I loved how that turned halfway through. Awesome.

TheKeck

10-05-2011, 11:44 AM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4763-Gears-of-War-3

Dostoyevsky

10-05-2011, 12:27 PM

Nah, I think I'd call him out if he found Gears 3's plot to be awesome. Though I also think it's poorly paced and features a ridiculous amount of convenient plot contrivances, I feel that way about half the games I've played this year. But I also think it's a pretty great shooter, so in this case I'll disagree to disagree, since I doubt he would agree to disagree with me.

TheKeck

10-05-2011, 02:31 PM

in this case I'll disagree to disagree

That makes it sound like you're just being contrarian for the sake of it. :p

Talanvor

10-05-2011, 04:07 PM

I knew he'd hate it, it'd be just be a question of degree. Though to be honest I didn't think he really put in a good effort to be funny. It was pretty much brown and brown, steroids, chest high walls, etc etc. Compare it just to last week's Resistance 3 review.

JayK47

10-05-2011, 04:28 PM

I agree 100% and I have yet to even play the game.

Joshkdmw

10-06-2011, 07:24 PM

It felt like a review of the whole series, kind of. I've yet to play GoW3 (no immediate plans to), but I like when people call the franchise out on bad writing and poorer characterization. I only ever enjoyed that series when playing Co-op with friends.

Gears of War is kinda like an orgasm. You can get through it alone, if you have to, but it's infinitely better if you have a capable partner.

Caring and generous as I may be alone, having a Baird to my Cole makes it feel like something worth accomplishing, instead of just getting my nut off.

Gears of War talk getting homoerotic? Shocker.

crazyD

10-06-2011, 07:57 PM

You make it sound like orgasming by yourself is a chore.

MachEnergy

10-06-2011, 08:38 PM

Josh, that's sort of the whole thing about Yahtzee's reviews. For me (and I'm sure many others) the Gears series has been all about co-op and multiplayer. I've never played a single Gears game campain without a partner. Aside from the campaign, each release has added on heaps of extra modes for multiplayer, extending the games FAR beyond the plot lines. He didn't mention Horde, Beast, Arcade, or any Versus modes. That's 90-99% of what people will be playing.

tacitus

10-06-2011, 09:15 PM

Liked the nod to Hard Rest.

MachEnergy

10-06-2011, 09:48 PM

Liked the nod to Hard Rest.

Can't say I'm familiar. Care to elaborate? It certainly went over my head, whatever it was.

Joshkdmw

10-06-2011, 10:11 PM

You make it sound like orgasming by yourself is a chore.

If you'd ever seen me in person, you'd understand.

TheKeck

10-06-2011, 11:11 PM

Can't say I'm familiar. Care to elaborate? It certainly went over my head, whatever it was.

I think he means Hard Reset. He mentioned the game by name and showed its box art.

tacitus

10-07-2011, 02:45 AM

Can't say I'm familiar. Care to elaborate? It certainly went over my head, whatever it was.
As TheKeck mentioned I did mean "Hard Reset" - and here is the linky (http://store.steampowered.com/app/98400/?snr=1_4_4__13)

JayK47

10-19-2011, 04:53 PM

It is all the Rage this week. (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4824-Rage)

Zanzibar

10-19-2011, 05:20 PM

It is all the Rage this week. (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4824-Rage)

God dammit, that was awesome.

CappinCanuck

10-20-2011, 02:09 PM

Couldn't bring myself to buy Rage after all the reviews, but the review certainly seems consistent with the general feelings of reviewers.

Talanvor

10-27-2011, 01:31 PM

This week: Kinect (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4863-Kinect)

While he doesn't do a proper review of a game it's more general bitching about the system itself which happens to include some bits from Rise of Nightmares and Child of Eden.

TheKeck

11-02-2011, 10:23 AM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4915-Batman-Arkham-City

Pale Ale

11-02-2011, 10:52 AM

"I keep flying into shit!"

"I always have detective vision on!"

Duh

Zanzibar

11-02-2011, 11:06 AM

God damn, that was the funniest one in a long, LONG time. Had to pause multiple times to wait for my laughter to die down.

My co-workers are looking at me strangely.

Again.

Savok

11-02-2011, 12:07 PM

I ultimately found the game a disappointment. Level design was more simplistic with a distinct lack of criminal torture rooms. The combat didn't feel as tight either... unless you were Catwoman who feels as responsive as Bats did in the first game.

Special mention to the story which was indeed a clusterfuck. It suffered from far, far too many characters and a plot that went all over the place. Half of it didn't even make sense. The ending almost redeemed it but the interest had been so drained from me at that point I'd just stopped caring.

Narradisall

11-02-2011, 01:08 PM

I laughed. The game is good, but I agree it lacked the focus of the first in adding the 'sandbox' of the second. They did try to put in all the villians that they lost some of the 'awesome' about coming across a batman villian.

Still a great game, flying and combat additions were all gravy, but I still prefer the first.

JayK47

11-02-2011, 05:35 PM

Do you have to pre-order to get catwoman? I thought that was if you purchased new.

Spigot

11-03-2011, 05:36 AM

Do you have to pre-order to get catwoman? I thought that was if you purchased new.

Yeah, it's a Day One DLC/new copy code. It's not a preorder bonus. THe preorder stuff was for all of the various skins and challenge maps. Catwoman was basically Project $10.

And I loved the game. The only thing keeping me from playing it more (even after finishing it) right now is Uncharted.

JayK47

11-03-2011, 05:13 PM

Yeah, it's a Day One DLC/new copy code. It's not a preorder bonus. THe preorder stuff was for all of the various skins and challenge maps. Catwoman was basically Project $10.

And I loved the game. The only thing keeping me from playing it more (even after finishing it) right now is Uncharted.

Good to hear. I plan to grab this, just probably not on day one.

Spigot

11-03-2011, 06:38 PM

Good to hear. I plan to grab this, just probably not on day one.If you're talking about the PC version, I'm sure that Catwoman will just be standard, at least on the digital versions.

TheKeck

11-09-2011, 10:15 AM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4948-Battlefield-3

He only reviews the single player. :(

MachEnergy

11-09-2011, 10:20 AM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4948-Battlefield-3

He only reviews the single player. :(

Are you surprised?

TheKeck

11-09-2011, 10:23 AM

Are you surprised?

Slightly. It's just a shame. Although, he probably wouldn't appreciate the multi anyway, as evidenced by his 10 second attempt at it.

It's just painful for him to complain about not getting to fly a jet, for example.

MachEnergy

11-09-2011, 10:26 AM

His ignorance to online multiplayer is what drove me to stop accepting Yahtzee's reviews as anything more than simple entertainment. 80% of my time with Gears 3 has and will be online multiplayer, but that didn't exist in his mind. Meh.

Savok

11-09-2011, 10:35 AM

Not all of us play games for the multi.

MachEnergy

11-09-2011, 10:41 AM

Savok

11-09-2011, 10:44 AM

Meanwhile, in Extra Punctuation (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/9212-Extra-Punctuation-The-Sandbox-Killed-Batman), his thoughts continue to mirror my own on the game. Though his ignorance of comics shows a little (Lex was President for instance, he's already run the world).

Savok

11-09-2011, 10:46 AM

Cool, not all of us play games for the campaign either. Both should be represented in the aspect of a review. It's just as lazy as somebody speaking ONLY about BF3's multiplayer, where there are plenty of people who would like to know about the campaign. Again, I'm speaking from the "review" perspective. From the entertainment perspective, Yahtzee does just fine.
It's not lazy if all he's going to say is "I hate it" in various ways. He makes it perfectly clear he's not interested in multiplayer, you want a review on multiplayer look elsewhere.

TheKeck

11-09-2011, 10:50 AM

Not all of us play games for the multi.

For me it's kind of like not liking FPS games so you just review the Pipe dream hacking in Bioshock. If you don't like what the game IS enough to review, then just don't bother reviewing what it's not.

And screw EA's marketing for giving him an excuse in the matter. :p

Savok

11-09-2011, 10:58 AM

As you say, he was only going by EA's marketing.

Narradisall

11-09-2011, 11:24 AM

Yahtzee never 'reviews' MP anyway. It's always just been about entertainment, and he is pretty honest about where he is coming from.

The SP in these games seems to be getting pretty repeatable and cliche, but I've still enjoyed the SP in the previous games, but they fall behind other more awesome SP experiences for me.

tacitus

11-09-2011, 04:15 PM

Besides he did review it just like some of us would review it; MP games need a place for us incompentents to play in. And he is extremely honest about his dislike and ineptitude at MP.

Hotcod

11-09-2011, 04:22 PM

See I dislike early reviews of the muiltplayer aspects of the game anyway. As a player you need to spend a lot of time to really give it a fair shake, and the community as a whole needs time to shake the game down and frame the "meta game". The single player, once you played it, is done, nothing about it is going to change... the muitiplayer of a game is going to change as you learn how to play and as the meta game takes shape.

Narradisall

11-09-2011, 04:29 PM

And he is extremely honest about his dislike and ineptitude at MP.

That's why I find the complaints silly, he is completely honest about it.

J Arcane

11-09-2011, 04:32 PM

Besides he did review it just like some of us would review it; MP games need a place for us incompentents to play in. And he is extremely honest about his dislike and ineptitude at MP.
This is what bots are supposed to be for: making a space for the incompetents And those who don't like the online social atmosphere to still be able to enjoy your game.

But instead the attitude in the shooter Dev field tends to be that they're just a poor substitute for "the real thing", namely live MP, so devs just started skipping them because they were too much work.

I continue to think that short sighted, but so far it seems only Valve agrees with me, and even their record is shaky lately. TF2 getting bots = good, L4D2's bots getting dumber = bad.

JayK47

11-09-2011, 04:54 PM

Someone needs to tell EA how bad the BF3 single player is. It wasn't going to be anybody here. I hope they learned a lesson and skip single player going forward.

Narradisall

11-09-2011, 04:56 PM

Someone needs to tell EA how bad the BF3 single player is. It wasn't going to be anybody here. I hope they learned a lesson and skip single player going forward.

Just curious, since I haven't played it. Beyond the video, whats 'bad' about the SP?

Crittias

11-09-2011, 07:31 PM

Reverant

11-09-2011, 07:40 PM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4948-Battlefield-3

He only reviews the single player. :(

He's a funny guy and calls out the bullshit devs/publishers try to feed gamers, but I'm surprised he even went for BF3. I love the series, but I absolutely expected from the get go that the single player would be horrible shit. I think a lot of us did. Attacking the SP is just... trite, or sad. Like making fun of a handicapped person.

Wolvie

11-09-2011, 07:49 PM

Just curious, since I haven't played it. Beyond the video, whats 'bad' about the SP?

It's not bad just... average. It's the vanilla of FPS shooters. It doesn't do anything particularly awesome or lame. It's just kinda there, being OK.

Savok

11-09-2011, 07:57 PM

On the second page of that post, doesn't he describe a make-believe game that sounds awfully similar to Evil Genius?
Similar but with greater emphasis on minions.

Vandabo

11-09-2011, 08:10 PM

This is what bots are supposed to be for: making a space for the incompetents And those who don't like the online social atmosphere to still be able to enjoy your game.

But instead the attitude in the shooter Dev field tends to be that they're just a poor substitute for "the real thing", namely live MP, so devs just started skipping them because they were too much work.

I continue to think that short sighted, but so far it seems only Valve agrees with me, and even their record is shaky lately. TF2 getting bots = good, L4D2's bots getting dumber = bad.

Some of the most fun I've had in many shooters was playing against bots. Counterstrike, Raven Shield and Unreal Tournament are a few examples. Playing online was fun too, but I was able to learn levels and hone skills (and just have wacky fun) using bots. The more customizable they are the better, but even basic ones are so good to have.

I would love to have them in BF3.

Narradisall

11-10-2011, 10:36 AM

It's not bad just... average. It's the vanilla of FPS shooters. It doesn't do anything particularly awesome or lame. It's just kinda there, being OK.

Ah ok. Gotcha.

Wasson_

11-13-2011, 09:55 PM

tacitus

11-14-2011, 05:48 AM

I have always found his observations accurate; in fact one reason I read reviews is for personal observations. Because you can have an outstanding game and there is something small that irritates the piss out of you and its better to know that ahead of time.
The guy is incapable of feeling the anticipation of finally getting to play
Sigh ... that sounds like an excellent quality for a reviewer.

Its good to be a detached for his job. Plus he has a very short amount of time to play the game, review it, and make a short video with pithy comments. Because he doesn't gush all over the current "flavor(s) of the month," some folks get all upset at him. Do I agree with his likes and dislikes always? No, but I can see his point of view. Frankly so many reviews on the web have absolutely no point of view, its a nice change.

Spigot

11-14-2011, 07:00 AM

Not to mention that 90% of his schtick is to be a contrarian. Even when he does love a game, his main goal is to poke fun at what it doesn't get right.

I don't really view his 'reviews' as reviews, much like I don't watch WWE as a sport. They're both examples of entertainment with an element of truth to it with everything else turned up to 11 :)

Savok

11-14-2011, 07:03 AM

kyrieee

11-14-2011, 07:51 AM

They're funny videos with a few grains of truth in them. Just take them for what they are.

Vandabo

11-14-2011, 11:45 AM

Yeah, I love Zero Punctuation, but I'd never base my purchasing on one of this reviews. He trashes on plenty of games I like. Even then I usually agree with the individual issues he has, but they just aren't nearly enough to make me stop liking a game.

It's a lot like watching the Rifftrax of Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Casablanca. I love those movies to death and think they are genuinely good films, but there is still plenty there that is ripe for parody.

TheKeck

11-14-2011, 01:16 PM

Yeah, I guess I'm not sure why I care what he said about battlefield. I already own and adore the game. I guess my complaint with him reviewing the singleplayer would be akin to complaining something like:

"Oh man, he reviewed crappy indie game x this week. I was really curious to see what his take on AAA game that just game out Y would be. Oh well, maybe he'll review it next week. Oh wait... he's never going to review it ever."

:p

Savok

11-14-2011, 06:41 PM

I've said it before, the reviews work if you look at everything he complains about and ask yourself if you're ok with it. If you are, you should play the god damn game.

Wasson_

11-15-2011, 04:13 AM

Sigh ... that sounds like an excellent quality for a reviewer.

Its good to be a detached for his job.

Why exactly? He clearly is not detached from certain games and game types. In fact he constantly cites previous favorites which reflect what he feels did X or Y better.

Dark Prince

11-15-2011, 07:54 AM

The guy is incapable of feeling the anticipation of finally getting to play- and the then gratification of playing, succeeding and enjoying certain games. His reviews of Batman, BF3 and Rage have all been, while funny, very off base considering just how outstanding they are in their respective qualities.

I actually for one think he was dead on with Batman and BF3. He doesn't need to go into detail about the MP of BF3 when we already know all there is to know from other outlets, as he pretty much summed it up in the beginning of the video.

Dark Prince

11-16-2011, 10:34 AM

Yahtzee goes treasure hunting around the world in Uncharted: Drake's Deception (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/4972-Uncharted-3-Drakes-Deception)

TheKeck

11-16-2011, 01:12 PM

Ok, that made me actually want to play the game.

That scene with the asteroid and the lion sounds epic!

Spigot

11-16-2011, 08:54 PM

Drakes On A Plain... tee hee.

Talanvor

11-18-2011, 10:08 PM

I liked the Clue box, really got me.

tacitus

11-19-2011, 06:24 AM

Why exactly? He clearly is not detached from certain games and game types. In fact he constantly cites previous favorites which reflect what he feels did X or Y better.
Your right ... "Detached" and Yahtzee were probably not the best terms to use together; but more likely as not the games in the "style" he likes will be actually be reamed out more thoroughly because they don't meet his expectations. And he doesn't hide his likes and dislikes; I have noticed a lot of reviewers who refuse to share their prejudices (and skills). So its not until you read them for many reviews do you say to yourself ... wow he only really likes <blah> games and he really is just a poser for anything else.

For every game that Yahtzee has reviewed that I have played, he has hit the nail on the head about the flaws. Sometimes I like the game flaws he calls out and sometimes I don't, but he is almost always correct.

tacitus

11-30-2011, 05:22 PM

Skyrim (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5020-The-Elder-Scrolls-V-Skyrim)

"More importantly nobody can yell at me for not playing the fucking multiplayer for once"

JayK47

11-30-2011, 08:15 PM

Ha ha. Well said. I wonder how much he played it and if he was able to at least complete the main quest.

Spigot

11-30-2011, 08:17 PM

Boo. Page isn't loading for me :(

Deadend

12-01-2011, 12:56 AM

I laughed at that. Hard.

I really don't get his bile for Gears 3. I thought the single player campaign had a pretty damn good pace, and even though the game was based around pop-in-stop, it never really felt repetitive, I think he just hates not having a jump button and games without health packs.

Reverant

12-01-2011, 06:59 AM

Skyrim (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5020-The-Elder-Scrolls-V-Skyrim)

"More importantly nobody can yell at me for not playing the fucking multiplayer for once"

The highlight was his glitch encounter. Why oh why are bugs in this game so fucking hilarious to read about?

Spigot

12-01-2011, 11:08 AM

It's great that the new patch adds even MORE glitches!

Honestly though, with a game with as many moving parts as the Elder Scrolls games have, we should be kind of thankful that they aren't more of a juddering mess of broken code than they are. It's annoying when they do go wonky, but it can lead to pretty silly stories... like yesterday when an enormous dragon skeleton teleported above town and dropped like a stone and got wedged on the gates.

Savok

12-01-2011, 11:15 AM

Mr. Murphy

12-01-2011, 11:23 AM

You know, this is my main worry with Skyrim. The main talking point for it is the hilarious bugs and glitches. Giants that send you into space, people deciding to swim through thin air and so on. One of the "bugs", sometimes dragons just ignoring you and flying by, actually added to the experience. Once patched we'll find out Bethesda intended the game to be a lot more tedious then it currently is.

Don't be too nervous, though - I've played two different characters over fifty hours, and my roommate has played more than that, and in those 100+ hours of gameplay I've encountered exactly ONE glitch, and it was extremely minor - a floating tankard. So, you know, YMMV.

When they do happen, it's funny, so people talk about it a lot. But they certainly don't override the actual game. And if each person who plays it talks about the one or two glitches they encountered, it makes it seem like you're going to encounter every single one of those glitches when you play, which isn't the case.

Granted, I haven't let them patch our copy yet, so we're still on 1.1, not the terribly broken 1.2.

Vandabo

12-01-2011, 11:31 AM

You know, this is my main worry with Skyrim. The main talking point for it is the hilarious bugs and glitches. Giants that send you into space, people deciding to swim through thin air and so on. One of the "bugs", sometimes dragons just ignoring you and flying by, actually added to the experience. Once patched we'll find out Bethesda intended the game to be a lot more tedious then it currently is.

I don't know that it is the "main" talking point. I mean, just look at the 2000+ post Official Playthrough thread and read about how alive the open world is and all the emergent gameplay. That is what I would call the "main" talking point.

I've put in over 100 hours and while I've seen a few glitches, none have hampered my gameplay experience hardly at all, and most of the rest have been worth a laugh. Is that really so bad? At least in this game it's usually funny when it glitches out; it doesn't fuck you over as often as many other games do.

Savok

12-01-2011, 11:40 AM

That's my point, the glitches are the most interesting thing about the game, at least to some people.

TheKeck

12-01-2011, 11:52 AM

That's my point, the glitches are the most interesting thing about the game, at least to some people.

I don't quite follow your logic here. You made it quite clear this was your point. Then several people disagreed with you. Now you simply repeat that it's your point? :confused:

Mr. Murphy

12-01-2011, 12:19 PM

That's my point, the glitches are the most interesting thing about the game, at least to some people.

My point is that it's not the most interesting thing, it's just the thing you hear about because everyone's glitch experience is unique. You don't hear "I fought a dragon and it was awesome!" as much simply because EVERYONE had that same experience.

Everyone who plays this game fights a dragon and it is awesome. So if that sounds fun to you, you should give it a shot.

Narradisall

12-01-2011, 12:44 PM

That was hilarious.

Skyrim is still awesome.

Savok

12-01-2011, 06:44 PM

I don't quite follow your logic here. You made it quite clear this was your point. Then several people disagreed with you. Now you simply repeat that it's your point? :confused:
People were saying that the bugs/glitches weren't a problem. I was responding to that.

Hyperglide

12-07-2011, 06:48 PM

So I take it he liked Skyrim? His review seemed quite positive which is very rare for Yahtzee.

TheKeck

12-07-2011, 07:32 PM

You're a week behind. :p

Seems like he certainly liked Skyrim by comparison at the very least.

Dark Prince

12-14-2011, 11:06 AM

Yahtzee takes on Assassins Creed: Revelations (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5114-Assassins-Creed-Revelations)

TheKeck

12-14-2011, 11:27 AM

I'm sad that he spoiled the end of Brotherhood for me.

Talanvor

12-14-2011, 02:02 PM

I'm sad that he spoiled the end of Brotherhood for me.

It's not really an ending though, it's more of a twist, and not one that makes a large amount of sense at the moment. It left me confused. :confused:

I would love to see a walker that was equipped with assassination gear.

crazyD

12-14-2011, 10:19 PM

Yeah, it really reeked of "we don't want to pay the voice actress anymore."

tacitus

12-15-2011, 10:14 PM

It's not really an ending though, it's more of a twist, and not one that makes a large amount of sense at the moment. It left me confused. :confused:

I would love to see a walker that was equipped with assassination gear.
The endings of all of the assassins creed (not including Revelations, which I haven't played yet) are not the strong part of the series. They are a bit loopy.

crazyD

12-16-2011, 06:28 PM

That's because the ending all involve the stupid alien god king story lines which are the worst parts of Assassin's Creed. It would be better if the apple was just a MacGuffin and they didn't feel the need to force story around it. Or, hell, get rid of the apple shit all together, and have him going after some non-magical artifact.

Reverant

12-16-2011, 07:42 PM

Probably my least favorite part AC (besides the characters' tendency to leap to their death no matter what button you push) is the weird alien god shit. When I got to the end of AC2, I rolled my eyes. It's a shame what they've done, really. The politics and setting are good enough on their own- in fact, I think AC would be a better series if they left out all that sci-fi junk altogether.

Mike Kelehan

12-16-2011, 08:04 PM

On the flip side, I enjoy the sci-fi stuff. To each their own.

muddi900

12-16-2011, 09:09 PM

Alien God Magic is why I like AC.

Vandabo

12-16-2011, 09:18 PM

Yeah, I enjoy the sci-fi side. I hope they finish it strong.

Spigot

12-16-2011, 09:53 PM

I"m on the side of the sci-fi silliness. The core stories in each game are fine but the overarching crazy stuff is what makes me want to keep playing each game.

Mike Kelehan

12-16-2011, 11:06 PM

I"m on the side of the sci-fi silliness. The core stories in each game are fine but the overarching crazy stuff is what makes me want to keep playing each game.

And I'll be the first to admit that it is crazy.

Dark Prince

12-21-2011, 12:41 PM

Yahtzee Reviews Skyward Sword (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5148-The-Legend-of-Zelda-Skyward-Sword)

UWCrash

12-21-2011, 01:33 PM

I found a plot hole! NURSE!

Savok

12-21-2011, 07:02 PM

Agree with him completely. Skyward Sword is the first Zelda game on a console I won't finish because it's just too fucking boring. They actually turned the game into a series of chores, it's incredible.

UWCrash

12-29-2011, 12:07 AM

The first non-handheld Zelda I didn't finish was Majora's Mask. I got to the moon and then...just never picked it up again. I remember something about a really terrible Goron part at the end, but that was years ago. Tried to go back and finish it in an emulator*, but I think I only got through two temples.

I also didn't finish Twilight Princess. Got to the Sky Temple and just got terribly bored.

Looks like even Yahtzee is taking this week off.

*I've got the cartridge and N64 right here, but it looks terrible in HD and I love me some Quick Save.

Savok

12-29-2011, 01:03 AM

Majora's Mask was fantastic and remains an almost completely untapped mechanic. It just shouldn't of been a Zelda game.

Savok

12-29-2011, 01:24 AM

Reading the Extra Punctuation on Skyward Sword, I think I've worked out the story's biggest problem. Not the sheer pointlessness of most of it, though that is a major one. No the problem is there's too much Japanese wank material.

Zelda, Fi and Ghirahim are textbook Japanese fetish characters. All they need is a tsundere who regularly hits you and they'd be weeping into their love pillows with joy. It's infecting the company, just look at Other M, that entire game is about a woman being dominated (to top it off you're the woman, Freud would have a field day) in utterly ridiculous ways.

CES

12-29-2011, 04:17 AM

Majora's Mask was fantastic and remains an almost completely untapped mechanic. It just shouldn't of been a Zelda game.

It's also by far and above the darkest of the Zelda games and one of the most depressing if you fuck up certain sidequests. It's all the more impressive considering how limited the hardware was on the N64 but that's something Nintendo were good at from Link to the Past to Wind Waker, making excellent games with limited resources (the two Oracle games have to be among the best on the GBC ever)

pomeroy

12-29-2011, 06:10 PM

Whoa. That's a really long spam bot message.

Savok

12-29-2011, 06:30 PM

English speaking forum you useless shit.

Banacek

12-29-2011, 11:49 PM

Wow guys, I didn't think CES's post was that bad...

Superman's Dead

12-29-2011, 11:53 PM

Wow guys, I didn't think CES's post was that bad...

At first, I didn't understand. And then I laughed and laughed...

Savok

12-30-2011, 01:03 AM

Wow guys, I didn't think CES's post was that bad...
It's the accent.

CES

12-30-2011, 08:08 AM

It's the accent.

My accent is quite awesome, thank you very much.

Though I have to admit it took me a few minutes to work out what had happened.

Savok

12-30-2011, 08:30 AM

Giant spam message was completely in German. I don't know if anyone even speaks that here.

Dark Prince

01-04-2012, 12:50 PM

After a holiday break, Yahtzee is back with Serious Sam 3 (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5184-Serious-Sam-3-BFE)

TheKeck

01-04-2012, 01:22 PM

I remember having some fun with random levels of Serious Sam coop.

Vandabo

01-04-2012, 02:35 PM

Oh, that was hilarious. That was my favorite one in a long time.

Serious Sam 3: Biscuit Fortification Experiment FTW!

I loved Serious Sam and the sequel was good too, so I think I'll try this one out.

Savok

01-04-2012, 06:46 PM

Glad it gets better, because the start is only slightly less tedious then every other modern shooter.

TheKeck

01-11-2012, 03:14 PM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5207-Top-5-of-2011

Funny how I couldn't agree more with his top choice and couldn't disagree more with his bottom. (ish)

The new hummer gets terrible gas mileage: worst car of the year.

/metaphor

JayK47

01-11-2012, 06:43 PM

I like how he called MW3 the worst game of the year with a MW3 ad wrapped around the whole video.

Dark Prince

01-18-2012, 11:20 AM

Yahtzee takes a look into Super Mario Bros 3D Land and Rayman Origins (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5239-Super-Mario-3D-Land-Rayman-Origins) Grrr...*sigh*....grr....*sigh*

Gorvi

01-18-2012, 11:37 AM

That was quite good.

Talanvor

01-18-2012, 02:42 PM

I liked that. Too bad Rayman's sales have been terrible and it's already hit $20. I have a feeling it'll be $10 in a couple of months.

Hyperglide

02-01-2012, 10:52 AM

Pretty funny this one:

Star Wars: The Old Republic is up (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5323-Star-Wars-The-Old-Republic).

Ink Asylum

02-01-2012, 11:03 AM

Hehe. "Shmillennium Shmalcon."

Talanvor

02-09-2012, 03:14 PM

This Week - Amy (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5346-Amy)

They only had a Q&A department to have people around to invite to their birthday party

If I remember this was the game where they pulled that weird stunt that that either they'd delay it for the 360 or they'd charge the PS3 users more.

Vandabo

02-10-2012, 11:52 AM

Damn, that was a funny ZP. I have absolutely no interest in the game, but man the funny was there in spades. He's been on a roll the last month or so.

J Arcane

02-10-2012, 12:17 PM

Wow. It's been quite a while since he's savaged a game that viciously.

Spigot

02-10-2012, 02:15 PM

Wow. It's been quite a while since he's savaged a game that viciously.
From all accounts, it deserves it. I think he was actually kind of gentle concidering the scathing reviews the game has received. It's probably the worst game of the year so far.

Talanvor

02-10-2012, 03:31 PM

From all accounts, it deserves it. I think he was actually kind of gentle concidering the scathing reviews the game has received. It's probably the worst game of the year so far.

And it's barely February! Plenty of time.

Lekon

02-10-2012, 03:45 PM

Wow. It's been quite a while since he's savaged a game that viciously.

Try the demo. You'll see that ZP was actually being pretty kind.

J Arcane

02-10-2012, 03:51 PM

I still haven't even hooked up my Xbox since the move. I think I'll pass, though, regardless.

Spigot

02-10-2012, 04:10 PM

And it's barely February! Plenty of time.I think it's a pretty low bar that was set (for worse games to limbo under, that is...)

TheKeck

02-10-2012, 04:24 PM

I think it's a pretty low bar that was set (for worse games to limbo under, that is...)

Hey, I'm really liking Limbo so far.

Spigot

02-10-2012, 05:25 PM

Hey, I'm really liking Limbo so far.

Har har har.

Dark Prince

02-15-2012, 11:20 AM

Resident Evil Revelations is next (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5373-Resident-Evil-Revelations)

Talanvor

02-15-2012, 01:41 PM

Nothing about how Capcom managed to fuck up their boxart? Again I mean?

Anyway, "scaring the piss up your throat and out your nose" was pretty good.

J Arcane

02-15-2012, 01:53 PM

He did make a joke about typos in the manual.

Talanvor

02-22-2012, 02:15 PM

This week: Darkness 2 (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5394-Darkness-2)

He doesn't really get too worked up into a froth over this one. Seems like his main complaint is that it's short and the co-op partners are over the top stereotypes.

Wasson_

02-23-2012, 03:13 AM

oh man, that Amy Review was hilarious.

Talanvor

03-01-2012, 01:08 PM

This week: Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5416-Kingdoms-of-Amalur-Reckoning)

Damn he's was spot on for this one. Magic Missles. Brian Blessed. It's got it all.

TheKeck

03-01-2012, 02:07 PM

He didn't seem to like it as much as Gabe from PA did. :p

JayK47

03-01-2012, 04:00 PM

Baby's first Skyrim. Ha ha.

Vandabo

03-01-2012, 05:17 PM

He didn't seem to like it as much as Gabe from PA did. :p

You know, I find myself disagreeing with Gabe more often than not on game recommendations.

Oh yeah, and this was a great Zero Punc. Loved it when he said he didn't have anything against mixed-class characters, but wouldn't want them to be alone with his kids.

TheKeck

03-01-2012, 05:29 PM

You know, I find myself disagreeing with Gabe more often than not on game recommendations.

Yeah, I don't even know. Mostly it was just interesting/funny because I feel like I've heard lots of good stuff about this game and Yahtzee seemed to genuinely hate it.

JayK47

03-01-2012, 09:06 PM

I've been waiting for a complete edition on Steam. But if it is a single player MMO with far too many side quests, it sounds more like a chore than a game. And yes, a great review from Yahtzee.

tacitus

03-06-2012, 02:25 PM

In case you're wondering about the occassionally mentioned "Fantasy World Dizzy" - here is a Yahtzee walkthrough (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ4qvmUQDGg&feature=youtu.be)

Superman's Dead

03-06-2012, 08:54 PM

I've been waiting for a complete edition on Steam. But if it is a single player MMO with far too many side quests, it sounds more like a chore than a game. And yes, a great review from Yahtzee.

The key is the gameplay. My roommate doesn't really give a fuck about the plot and the quests are kinda dreary but he loves the combat so much it balances out for him.

Talanvor

03-07-2012, 01:01 PM

This week on Zero Punctuation we have NeverDead (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5443-NeverDead).

He seems to like the core gameplay idea, too bad about the implementation. Such a tricky thing. And I don't know about you gents but I know which upgrades I'd roll with.

JayK47

03-07-2012, 04:29 PM

A really good ZP this week. A laugh riot. Get in the sack!

Talanvor

03-14-2012, 01:24 PM

We got Syndicate (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5478-Syndicate) up this week.

One of my friends played this game and liked it, but by god did he say "hack" about 200 times while describing the gameplay. After he was done I asked him if he played the original games. He thought that was the first game. So count me among the irritated about licensing an old property to do nothing interesting with it.

JayK47

03-14-2012, 05:20 PM

I like how he pointed out the obvious at the end with modern shooter gamers not caring and people who remember the old Syndicate wanting to start EA's office on fire. I'm sure the game will sell poorly.

TheKeck

03-21-2012, 10:50 AM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5497-Mass-Effect-3

Hyperglide

03-21-2012, 01:41 PM

ClannerDelta

03-21-2012, 03:41 PM

The problem was that there were maybe 5 locations that felt like they "existed" the rest may as well have been randomly generated.

Couple that with the crappy aiming, goofy combat, and shoehorned story sections. It was just not worth it.

That said, I wouldn't have minded if they had included an improved version in 2 and 3. The hammerhead doesn't count. It just turned up the goofy combat to 11.

Wolvie

03-21-2012, 04:07 PM

I agreed with what he said about the Mako in the Mass Effect 3 review. After completing the 1st game again for the 4th time I really do miss the Mako in the 2nd and 3rd game.

Sure it had it's flaws (like the archaic controls, lack of boost, and the awful aiming reticle), but at least you felt like you were exploring an alien world.

This is the exact reason I only liked Mass Effect 2 and 3. I LOVED the first game. Because it felt like a modern day Starflight. You could roam solar systems, and planets. Collect minerals, gear, artifacts. It was awesome! Then they simplified that part of the game into a boring ass scanning mini-game. And half the life was sucked out of the series.
Now it's all about 3rd person RPGish/tactical shooting and a overly dramatic space soap opera.

JayK47

03-21-2012, 04:58 PM

"It could have been worse." is what BioWare should be saying about their ending. At least it is funny and true.

crazyD

03-23-2012, 12:37 AM

Half the tedium was sucked out of the game. I laud Bioware's ability to efficiently trim the fat from their game. They aren't sentimental about just losing a feature that negatively impacted the experience for many players.

Talanvor

03-23-2012, 12:54 PM

But I actually liked driving around in the Mako looking for stuff. Yes nearly all of the maps were randomly generated, I know. They could have done so much more with it than just say fuck it, we'll do some shitty scanning mini-game instead. Now that was awful and needed to get axed.

JayK47

03-23-2012, 02:21 PM

True. The mako was more fun than the scanning. I also did not mind the hacking in ME1 or 2 on PC. The PC version of ME had a different and more fun hacking mini game. I felt they trimmed too much fat from ME3 and replaced it with lame fetch quests. Wow, much better.

crazyD

03-23-2012, 06:11 PM

Wolvie

03-23-2012, 06:28 PM

I would say the Mako was far more boring than scanning. It took far more time, and played like shit. The scanning minigame was also pretty awful, but I feel like I have spent less time moving a cursor over a planet than awkwardly bouncing around boring and ugly landscapes.

Oh CrazyD, you disagree with me and are therefor wrong. The Mako sections were awesome exploration awesomeness! I guess you like slow-boating between planets only to do a ultra boring sonar version of Where's Waldo?

I mean, if we're trimming fat, why even have planets? Just pick a system to go to jump straight to the next mission. THEN you could really trim some fat and get to the point! Hey, why not go further? Just make ME4 a level based game where you just pick the next mission you want to go to after your done with the current one? NO WAIT! Don't even give us a choice Bioware! Just have the story follow a set path. Like Call of Duty! Doesn't that sound like FUN!? And in no way make a game more cookie cutterish.
Man, I'm such a great idea man. So much fat could be trimmed here. I am so awesome. :p;)

/sarcasm

:D

JayK47

03-23-2012, 06:44 PM

With the addition of multi this time around, I wouldn't be surprised if they did make it more like COD. A short single player campaign with the focus on multi with a season pass.

Wolvie

03-23-2012, 06:47 PM

All joking aside, it wouldn't shock me. It seems the direction the game is heading in. They've been stream-lining it since ME2, by taking 'boring' stuff out. I wouldn't be shocked if we actually don't get to fly between systems in the next game. They'll probably cite system restraints on the 360 as the culprit if it comes out this gen.

crazyD

03-23-2012, 08:36 PM

Oh CrazyD, you disagree with me and are therefor wrong. The Mako sections were awesome exploration awesomeness! I guess you like slow-boating between planets only to do a ultra boring sonar version of Where's Waldo?

No, the scanning was shit. It just felt to me like I had to do less of it. It was pretty easy to just find a fat planet, grab everything you see on your first pass, then move on. While still crappy, it was less tedious.

I mean, if we're trimming fat, why even have planets? Just pick a system to go to jump straight to the next mission. THEN you could really trim some fat and get to the point! Hey, why not go further? Just make ME4 a level based game where you just pick the next mission you want to go to after your done with the current one? NO WAIT! Don't even give us a choice Bioware! Just have the story follow a set path. Like Call of Duty! Doesn't that sound like FUN!? And in no way make a game more cookie cutterish.
Man, I'm such a great idea man. So much fat could be trimmed here. I am so awesome. :p;)

/sarcasm

:D

I would be completely fine with them getting rid of any sort of intangible resource gathering shit in the next game. I don't need to see a planet if they can't find anything interesting to put on it. It's just filler content to artificially lengthen the game. Cut it down, make it do what it does well and get rid of the rest. I'm not saying make it COD. Resource gathering has never been a strong suit in the series, and it doesn't need it.

Wraith

03-23-2012, 08:52 PM

Is Yahtzee's ME3 review spoiler-free? I don't usually care, but figure I'd ask first, for this game.

Codicier

03-26-2012, 11:24 PM

Is Yahtzee's ME3 review spoiler-free? I don't usually care, but figure I'd ask first, for this game.

I also want to know this. Close to but not quite done the game yet. And I know he often doesn't give a crap about spoilers.

Knightsaber

03-27-2012, 10:20 AM

There are a couple, I'd say, after viewing it again. One about the end, even.

JayK47

03-28-2012, 08:24 PM

Carry on Twisted Metal (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5531-Twisted-Metal).

boratika

03-31-2012, 06:51 PM

Carry on Twisted Metal (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5531-Twisted-Metal).

From your post, I was expecting him to draw parallels between the game and bawdy 1970s hospital.

Wolvie

03-31-2012, 07:01 PM

No, the scanning was shit. It just felt to me like I had to do less of it. It was pretty easy to just find a fat planet, grab everything you see on your first pass, then move on. While still crappy, it was less tedious.

That's a funny way to spell awesome. :p

I would be completely fine with them getting rid of any sort of intangible resource gathering shit in the next game. I don't need to see a planet if they can't find anything interesting to put on it. It's just filler content to artificially lengthen the game. Cut it down, make it do what it does well and get rid of the rest. I'm not saying make it COD. Resource gathering has never been a strong suit in the series, and it doesn't need it.

To be honest, I can totally see the next game going that way. It seems where they're heading anyways.