Dear director and writers of Max Payne: [Archive]

nixpayn

10-16-2008, 10:10 PM

How the fuck did you ruin a movie that was already graphically story boarded out and written perfectly!??!

yes, there is something after the credits.

no its not samuel l. jackson.

no, it doesnt make you go 'Oooooo!'

in fact it inspires another in a series of groans and head in hands weeping for the destruction of one of the great video game characters.

in its defense - it was no Ewe Boll movie, which is a good thing. it wasnt totally without merit, but the writing was awful, there was a plot that didnt exist in the game at all, and Mila Kunis was the worst casting choice ever.

action sequences were good. thats it.

Typical Michael

10-16-2008, 10:11 PM

Well, that makes me a sad panda. I was hoping it would be good.

Lance Uppercut

10-16-2008, 10:20 PM

So what was at the end of the credits?

Typical Michael

10-16-2008, 10:20 PM

So what was at the end of the credits?

Spoiler tags plz.

Psykoboy2

10-16-2008, 10:21 PM

Well poop. Still plan on seeing this Sunday.

nixpayn

10-16-2008, 10:33 PM

So what was at the end of the credits?

i'm not saying :)

theres really not much to say actually.

Lance Uppercut

10-16-2008, 11:18 PM

i'm not saying :)

theres really not much to say actually.

You should say anyway, since the movie's chilly reception means I won't be watching it.

darkbase

10-16-2008, 11:41 PM

*sighs*

I'll still see it Friday since it'll be free for me, but man. Should've known fucking assholes would screw this shit up.

VerseD

10-17-2008, 12:24 AM

When will we get a good video game to movie translation? I had some hope for this.

Disgustipated

10-17-2008, 12:49 AM

Damn it. Max Payne should have made the perfect movie, since it took so many great elements from action movies.

muddi900

10-17-2008, 01:34 AM

nixpayn

10-17-2008, 06:04 AM

You should say anyway, since the movie's chilly reception means I won't be watching it.

is the spoiler tag just spoiler & /spoiler?

with the <> of course

Ancalagon

10-17-2008, 06:07 AM

is the spoiler tag just spoiler & /spoiler?

with the <> of course

I think its with [].

like this:

AgtFox

10-17-2008, 06:23 AM

Is the movie seriously only 85 minutes long (read it in a review)? That's the first sign of trouble for an action movie usually. This goes straight to "wait for it on Netflix" territory.

inmostlight

10-17-2008, 07:02 AM

Is the movie seriously only 85 minutes long (read it in a review)? That's the first sign of trouble for an action movie usually. This goes straight to "wait for it on Netflix" territory.

The fact that they trimmed it to PG-13 means "wait for the unrated version on Netflix" to me.

cppcrusader

10-17-2008, 08:20 AM

AgtFox

10-17-2008, 08:27 AM

No, Fandango lists the movie at 1 hr 40 min.
Ooo...a whole 15 minutes extra! ;)

Psykoboy2

10-17-2008, 08:56 AM

So, after the credits roll does Max sit there and talk to animals?

TrackZero

10-17-2008, 09:04 AM

and Mila Kunis was the worst casting choice ever.

But damn did she look hot. (And that's saying something, because I usually don't like her.)

I think you also missed the part where we see the main character doing drugs; which cause him to see shadow monsters everywhere also gives him the strength to smite his enemies, all while tripping out and having great CG going on around him. The lack of any ill effect from doing so just helps further that moral lesson. Definitely one for the kids. ;)

Seriously though, the cinematography was great as was the music. The weak parts of the film are the writing and actors (though IMHO, I thought they did a fine enough job with what material they were given). Which for my time, made it an enjoyable B movie. My only real complaint is that they could have done more editing near the start of the film, it was too drawn out. Oh, and that they didn't go over the top and just do guns firing for 20 minutes of the credits.

Lastly, Marky Mark doing that backwards shotgun fight....beautiful.

TrackZero

10-17-2008, 09:06 AM

So, after the credits roll does Max sit there and talk to animals?

Dude, I loved that. I've rewatched that SNL skit 5 times now, and that's the best impression of him I've ever seen. Props to Andy Sandberg.

Callador

10-17-2008, 09:16 AM

When will we get a good video game to movie translation? I had some hope for this.

Maybe the Bioshock movie? Nah...

Elrik Murder

10-17-2008, 09:29 AM

When will we get a good video game to movie translation? I had some hope for this.

Obviously, someone hasn't seen Super Mario Bros. Not to mention the great Van Damme epic, Street Fighter. One of Raul Julio's last great performances. You sir have missed out. :D

Seriously, I didn't think the original Mortal Kombat was all that bad. Can't go wrong with Christopher Lambert.

Psykoboy2

10-17-2008, 09:36 AM

It isn't a video game to movie translation, but Reign Over Me incorporated video games so very well into it's story. Well, actually it was only one game (Shadow Of The Colossus), but goddamn did it work.

PathMaster

10-17-2008, 12:31 PM

Hmm, Tracks seems happy with it. I think I will go see this tomorrow and turn off the intellect side of my brain and just enjoy the ride.

Psykoboy2

10-17-2008, 02:01 PM

OOSioIQhszk

Maskatron

10-17-2008, 03:02 PM

Could have predicted this, but Max Payne is getting pretty low scores (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/max_payne/?name_order=asc#contentReviews).

YouTube clip

It's official, Wahlberg is a first class douchebag.

nixpayn

10-17-2008, 04:26 PM

he sits in the bar (which is up the street from me) with Mila Kunis and looks at an article with the chick from the evil pharmaceutical companies picture and they look at each other and have an unspoken "shes next"

and thats whats after the credits.

Kudos to a second film using the Lakeview Lunch as a shooting spot. First one was Boondock saints.

And track is right - cinematography is good, and the actors did the best they could with what they had. but still.. why did they even need writers. just transcribe the game and it woulda been fine :)

LiquidRain

10-17-2008, 06:34 PM

Hmm, Tracks seems happy with it. I think I will go see this tomorrow and turn off the intellect side of my brain and just enjoy the ride.
Track's assessment is right on the money if you ask me. (yes I saw it)

Reverant

10-17-2008, 07:35 PM

The cinematography was very good, and most of the actors did pretty good with what they had. The writing, directing, editing, and overall outcome of this movie was absolute shit. How hard was it to fuck up this movie?

It did remind me how much I enjoyed the games though.

Blue

10-17-2008, 08:02 PM

The movie was awful. I desperately wanted it to be good and they somehow jacked up a sure thing. Freaking terrible.

LiquidRain

10-17-2008, 09:10 PM

It did remind me how much I enjoyed the games though.
I know. I'm going to have to replay the game now to remind me why it was so awesome.

Inspector Fowler

10-17-2008, 09:46 PM

OOSioIQhszk

DAMN, Mark Wahlberg is angry! In all seriousness, if you want the fame, you better have the good graces to deal with the other sides of it.

J Arcane

10-17-2008, 10:09 PM

When will we get a good video game to movie translation? I had some hope for this.

I can't think of any Oscar-territory sorts of films or anything, but we've had a few that weren't bad popcorn flicks. The first Tomb Raider really was a pretty good action flick that I felt tagged the games pretty nicely. The first Resident Evil was also kinda cool. Mortal Kombat was total cheesy b-movie, but it was still fun as hell to watch I thought.

OOSioIQhszk

You know, I actually really like Mark Wahlberg, but that was honestly a better performance than most of the acting in his movies.

And track is right - cinematography is good, and the actors did the best they could with what they had. but still.. why did they even need writers. just transcribe the game and it woulda been fine :)

Something tells me they didn't want to make it a comedy. ;)

KingGorilla

10-17-2008, 10:36 PM

nixpayn

10-17-2008, 11:52 PM

DAMN, Mark Wahlberg is angry! In all seriousness, if you want the fame, you better have the good graces to deal with the other sides of it.

maybe he was drinking or doing PCP before the show or something.. i mean.. how could you legitimately be that pissed about that skit lol, it doesnt make any sense :P

Loki

10-18-2008, 02:22 AM

The movie made me weep. The game was already made for fucking movies, all it needed was actors, animations, and special effects.

What I hated most about the movie is that it tried to straddle the Max Payne universe, only providing Valkyr, Aesir, Lupino (in a seriously idiotic role), and Max. That is it. There is no Italian mob, there is no Vinnie Gognitti (although the name gets a cameo as a storage unit provider), there is no Woden, no correlation between the Sax sisters (save that they were sisters and not identical twins that could have played into the story), no dialogue for Mark Wahlberg except for ' RAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'm an angry police guy! RAHHH!'. There was no fantastic one liners like 'I don't know about angels, but it is fear that gives men wings'. There was no character development nor anything that one could describe as a cohesive plot that actually made sense and it had more holes in it than swiss cheese.............Blah. fuck them. I want to hire Don Draper as the next Max Payne.

Loki

10-18-2008, 02:23 AM

I still do not see how this got green-lit.

Plot to Max Payne: Motherfuckers need dyin'

Plot to Commando, Die Hard, Rambo..: Motherfuckers need Dyin'

It would seem that the tale has been heralded by sages for decades.

Bit more than death, mayhem, and murder. The thing that made Max Payne fantastic was the Noir style that made it artistically awesome.

Ancalagon

10-18-2008, 02:46 AM

I havent seen the movie, but I think it shows how incompetent writers, directors and producers generally are. They get handed this movie on a silver platter - its got a good and well executed story with good character development. They churn it around for a bit, and manage to completely destroy the story.

I was chatting with a friend of mine about this sort of thing yesterday, and we both agree its often the writers ego that ruins it, "MY story is cool, MY story rocks, we need more of MY writing in it, lets not use the original because MINE is so much better."

nixpayn

10-18-2008, 10:00 AM

I was chatting with a friend of mine about this sort of thing yesterday, and we both agree its often the writers ego that ruins it, "MY story is cool, MY story rocks, we need more of MY writing in it, lets not use the original because MINE is so much better."

i work in an ad agency, i can attest to writer ego wrecking things for sure.

darkbase

10-19-2008, 03:55 PM

I hope you guys watched SNL last night because Marky Mark was awesome. Proves he wasn't being a dick, but just leading up to his "confrontation" with Andy. It was awesome. (Check Hulu if you missed it!)

I'm probably going to see this tonight, but is it really worth it? It has an 18% at RT, so I'm thinking I'll just wait for the DVD. If it's much better for a big fan of the game that knows the story already and loves crazy/corny action movies like Sin City and Shoot 'em Up, is it worth watching? I think I'll end up watching Quarantine instead and playing the MP games later.

darkbase

10-19-2008, 03:58 PM

Bit more than death, mayhem, and murder. The thing that made Max Payne fantastic was the Noir style that made it artistically awesome.

Yes, this is why I am so attached to the series. The dark, witty, even cheesy narrations and Noir immersion really got me. I'm a sucker for Frank Miller's stuff because of this too (Well, TDKR and Sin City). The fun, stylish gunplay kept me satisfied just as well :)

Inspector Fowler

10-19-2008, 05:48 PM

I still do not see how this got green-lit.

Plot to Max Payne: Motherfuckers need dyin'

Plot to Commando, Die Hard, Rambo..: Motherfuckers need Dyin'

It would seem that the tale has been heralded by sages for decades.

Errr, I dunno about Commano, but we all know Rambo and Die Hard have been raking in money for decades now. Action movies often make money. It's no surprise this got green lit.

Magma

10-19-2008, 06:08 PM

/sigh

And I was really hoping this would be good. Really good. The first great video-game movie. I guess Hollywood can fuck up anything, can't they?

Guess I'll watch it on dvd.

cawblen

10-19-2008, 06:10 PM

When will we get a good video game to movie translation? I had some hope for this.

Silent Hill <----

Sazime

10-19-2008, 06:40 PM

Don't listen to the OP! It could still be good!

Then again, I enjoyed the Mario Bros movie...

roguebaboon

10-19-2008, 08:12 PM

I was really let down by this movie. Absolutely no emotional connection for the audience to a character driven by emotion.

darkbase

10-19-2008, 11:04 PM

Silent Hill was very good, cawblen. It wasn't much like any of the games but it was a good movie.

Just watched Max Payne.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?. highlight for rant There were so many long and boring scenes before anything really happened, and it takes about half the movie before we fully see what happens to his family? Max takes V, so out of character and retarded, why didn't they just have BB force it to him before he broke free? why didn't the Aesir guards kill ludacris and blame it on max or something. is Nichole Horne really the target of the sequel? Why was Lupino just torturing junkies and randomly stalking/killing people? BB felt really pointless. what the hell was wrong with following the game's story more closely? The opening of MP1 is very cinematic and would've kicked so much ass. I hate whoever wrote this script, but everything else (actors, director, cinematography) was great. wtf.