Apple, how I hate thee. [Archive]

civil

10-09-2009, 12:53 PM

Your latest piece of shit release for the piece of shit that is iTunes makes my MediaMonkey unhappy. And if my motherfucking MediaMonkey is unhappy then my motherfucking digital players are unhappy and if my motherfucking digital players are unhappy I'm motherfucking unhappy. If it wasn't for your motherfucking imotherfuckingPhone needing this strangling piece of shit I wouldn't fuck your software with a dead horse's cock. Actually, I would. I would like to fuck all your programmers with a dead horse's cock, then I'll make you eat the two or three week old shit that the dead horse took and I'll finish it up by taking a shit on your desks and firing all your cleaning crew so you'll be forced to clean the shit off your desks with a dead horse's cock up your ass.

Dukefrukem

10-09-2009, 01:01 PM

awesome rant....

opsin

10-09-2009, 01:04 PM

Fortunately I've never been invested enough in an Apple product to get that angry about them (nice rant though, indeed), but man... iTunes really does have just about the worst UI of any piece of software ever. Hateful thing.

J Arcane

10-09-2009, 01:16 PM

I liked iTunes UI when I was on the Mac, but I'm glad for WMP11.

The new WMP11 is the barebones of the iTunes interface, stripped of the crap that is Windows Apple software, and perhaps more importantly, that godawful fucking excuse for random play in iTunes.

I was blown away switching over from iTunes to foobar2000 and WMP11, because suddenly I was hearing all kinds of music that iTunes supposed intelligent shuffle shit never fucking played. iTunes player shuffles your music by how often you listen to it, which results in a snowball effect that over time leaves you listening to the same tiny sliver of your library over and over again, and god help you if you don't feel like listening to a song that day, because you may never hear it again.

I'm glad to have a proper random play back. It makes me enjoy my collection again.

pronounconnoun

10-09-2009, 01:21 PM

If it weren't for Final Cut Pro, I wouldn't even consider getting an Apple product.

mightbe

10-09-2009, 01:22 PM

/signed

lolwut?

total

10-09-2009, 01:22 PM

This post wins for the day. And yes, fuck iTunes.

Wackman3000

10-09-2009, 01:25 PM

I am glad to be off ipods... I have a Cowon S9 (http://digi.allcoolmen.com/images/2008/08/cowon-s9-curve-1.jpg) now and haven't looked back. Not only am I incredibly happy having a far superior sounding DAP than an ipod, but saying goodbye to itunes permanently was also a major plus for the Cowon.

Nice rant though. :D

Voodoo

10-09-2009, 01:30 PM

Narradisall

10-09-2009, 01:32 PM

I fail to understand why you people still update itunes straight away.

It's like your asking for it. :)

muddi900

10-09-2009, 01:38 PM

I fail to understand why you people still update itunes straight away.

It's like your asking for it. :)

Are you saying itunes rapes people?

Grifter

10-09-2009, 01:45 PM

I fail to understand why you people still update itunes straight away.

It's like your asking for it. :)

Are you saying itunes rapes people?

Just because Civil goes out in a mini skirt and low cut top does not mean he deserves to get raped!

Narradisall

10-09-2009, 01:52 PM

I just knew this would turn to rape!

Bingley Joe

10-10-2009, 06:28 PM

I don't really know what this is about, but is it possible DoubleTwist (http://www.doubletwist.com/dt/Home/Index.dt) might fix it for you?

DoubleTwist is super awesome, and the guy's basic principal in developing it is to shove dead horsecocks up every one of Apple's orifices, pull them back out through different ones, and then saw them back and forth in a sort of flossing motion.

See?

tdVzboF2E2Q

Integrating the Amazon MP3 Store was a stroke of genius, as was this:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3365/3598897427_18f5c4f65c_b.jpg

The story on this ad is actually pretty funny.. (http://nanocr.eu/2009/06/09/the-cure-for-iphone-envy-the-story-behind-the-doubletwist-ad/)

Whunpo

10-10-2009, 06:35 PM

Interesting. Nobody's come in to defend Apple yet. Is Jeffbax on vacation, or is everyone just afraid to disagree with someone who says motherfucking so many times?

Bad Buddha

10-10-2009, 06:59 PM

Oooo! Can I sig that?

Whunpo

10-10-2009, 07:07 PM

Who me? If so: I would be honored to be in your sig, Baddha!

MagGnome

10-10-2009, 08:40 PM

I was blown away switching over from iTunes to foobar2000 and WMP11, because suddenly I was hearing all kinds of music that iTunes supposed intelligent shuffle shit never fucking played. iTunes player shuffles your music by how often you listen to it, which results in a snowball effect that over time leaves you listening to the same tiny sliver of your library over and over again, and god help you if you don't feel like listening to a song that day, because you may never hear it again.

I've been wondering about this for a while now. That explains why I hear the same damn songs every time I use shuffle in iTunes and on my iPod!

BreakerX

10-10-2009, 09:34 PM

Originally posted by Jay
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfuckers are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

That's what I understood from this post.

boratika

10-10-2009, 10:03 PM

Interesting. Nobody's come in to defend Apple yet. Is Jeffbax on vacation, or is everyone just afraid to disagree with someone who says motherfucking so many times?

Apple software for Windows is like date rape. It is just indefensible.

Adam Blue

10-10-2009, 10:15 PM

Luckily by jailbreaking the iphone there are work-arounds that are actually pretty handy. Even jailbroken I'll at times toss my iphone for my Sony Ericsson. Apple just sucks good...I really don't know how to explain it, or why they do it.

Zero

10-10-2009, 10:41 PM

I hated this new iTunes version too. I would use the remote app on my phone to change songs in the background while I played WoW, but with this new version anytime I use the remote it maximizes iTunes and minimizes WoW.

pomeroy

10-10-2009, 10:43 PM

Wait, you were bitching about people saying "Good sir" and you have a title with "thee"?

Whatevs, civil. Whatevs.

boratika

10-11-2009, 02:38 AM

Wait, you were bitching about people saying "Good sir" and you have a title with "thee"?

Whatevs, civil. Whatevs.

I think he was just hates Apple as much as Shakespeare loved a summer's day. And, boy howdy, did that guy love a summer's day.

Whunpo

10-11-2009, 02:47 AM

Apple software for Windows is like date rape. It is just indefensible.

See, I personally agree. But usually there's at least one guy on this site (almost always Jeffbax) who comes in with apple's dick up their ass. So I was surprised to come into a thread like this with everyone pretty much in agreement.

KidCactus

10-11-2009, 03:36 AM

I don't really know what this is about, but is it possible DoubleTwist (http://www.doubletwist.com/dt/Home/Index.dt) might fix it for you?
It only works with firmware 2.0, though.

civil

10-11-2009, 06:15 AM

I think he was just hates Apple as much as Shakespeare loved a summer's day. And, boy howdy, did that guy love a summer's day.
Reading this literally caused soy milk to fly out of my mouth.

boratika

10-11-2009, 06:27 AM

See?

tdVzboF2E2Q

Hey! I was watching that!

MagGnome

10-11-2009, 06:48 AM

See, I personally agree. But usually there's at least one guy on this site (almost always Jeffbax) who comes in with apple's dick up their ass. So I was surprised to come into a thread like this with everyone pretty much in agreement.

Apple's penis may be small, but it is pretty.

pomeroy

10-11-2009, 10:22 AM

Apple's penis may be small, but it is pretty.

Holy shit. Thumbs up, Mags. Thumbs up.

cppcrusader

10-11-2009, 01:09 PM

iTunes player shuffles your music by how often you listen to it, which results in a snowball effect that over time leaves you listening to the same tiny sliver of your library over and over again, and god help you if you don't feel like listening to a song that day, because you may never hear it again.

I hate to break it to you, but shuffle in WMP11 works like that too. While the random selection may be a little better the likelihood of a song being selected is dictated by the song rating. There are two ways for a song's rating to change, you can set it manually or it gradually increases based on the number of times it's played.

Narradisall

10-11-2009, 03:24 PM

Apple software for Windows is like date rape. It is just indefensible.

Unless you update it, then your just asking for it :p

jpublic

10-11-2009, 03:33 PM

Back on my old computer, I had iTunes installed. Every time they had some bloody update, I'd have to uninstall all the additional crap it would install. All this just to make my Ipod Touch work.

I really don't understand what Apple is thinking. Does it *really* have to be so damn difficult to use their products? I mean, isn't this a company that prides itself on its UI?

pseudopseudo

10-11-2009, 07:17 PM

Narrad is right... even if you have an iPhone, you don't have to upgrade to the newest version of iTunes everytime one comes out. You can keep the old versions and have everything work just fine.

Other than that... *shrug* I got nothin'. That was a hell of a rant.

Bad Buddha

10-11-2009, 07:26 PM

Who me? If so: I would be honored to be in your sig, Baddha!
I'm sorry, I should have been more specific. I wanted to sig Civil_Apple's rant.

Whunpo

10-11-2009, 07:42 PM

I'm sorry, I should have been more specific. I wanted to sig Civil_Apple's rant.
Ah, I figured as much, but held on the bit of hope that I was just that witty. :o

Narradisall

10-12-2009, 05:26 AM

It's a game of catch up. All the 3rd party stuff you have will upgrade to cover 3.1 soon enough.

Just, in future, don't update to 3.1 till all the other crap you have has caught up.

I do agree itunes still needs to die in a fucking fire though. Terrible software.